Nakuba umthwalo wengqondo abesifazane abawuthwele ungabonakali, futhi uyimbangela yangempela yokuba nomthelela ongemuhle obonakalayo empilweni yengqondo yabesifazane. Ake sihlole lomthwalo ohlale unzima futhi uma amadoda nabesifazane ekugcineni bevuma ukungalingani kwakho konke.
Ngaqala iqembu elihamba ngezinyawo nomama ababecabanga njengaye esasibiza kahle ngokuthi Mamas Who Walk. Sesihambe cishe iminyaka engu-6 manje. Yebo, sikwenzela ukuzigcina sisesimweni esihle kodwa okubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi sihambe siyozehlisa futhi sehlise imithwalo yethu yomama. Sonke siyavuma ukuthi uma singakutholi ukuhamba okuhle okungu-3 kuya ku-5 ngesonto, impilo yethu yengqondo ithatha kancane.
Ngifunde kuleli qembu labesifazane ukuthi sonke sinezindlela zethu zokukhulisa izingane. Sonke siphila izindlela ezahlukene zokuphila. Abanye bethu banabalingani abangobaba abayizinhlobo zonke kanti abanye banabalingani abangabandakanyeki kangako.
Singabantu abahlukahlukene. Nokho kunezinto ezi-2 sonke esifana ngazo: eyodwa, sisebenza omama ababili, sonke sikholelwa njengabesifazane nomama ukuthi umthwalo wethu wabazali mkhulu kakhulu futhi ungaphezu kwamandla ethu kunowamadoda ethu. Kusenza sikhathazeke ngezinga elithile futhi sibonakala sivuma ukuthi umthwalo wengqondo othwala omama uyimbangela enkulu yokutubeka nokucindezeleka kwethu.
Uyini umthwalo wengqondo?
Ngakho-ke, uyini umthwalo wengqondo? Futhi okubizwa ngokuthi “umsebenzi wokukhathazeka”, umsebenzi ongabonakali ohilelekile ekuphatheni ikhaya nomndeni. Konke ukuhlela okwenzeka ngaphakathi kwamakhanda ethu, ukuze izimpilo zemindeni yethu ihambe kahle. Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi lo mthwalo ongabonakali uvame ukuwela emahlombe owesifazane.
Ngokocwaningo olwenziwe yisizindalwazi sabazali i-BabyCenter, omama abangu-69% e-United States babika ukuthi bazizwa bekhungathekile ngenxa yomthwalo wengqondo wokuba ngumama.
Ucwaningo lwango-2019 olwenziwa yisizindalwazi sabazali i-ChannelMum luthole ukuthi u-90% omama base-UK banomuzwa wokuthi bathwele kanzima ngokwengqondo yamakhaya abo, kanti i-Australian Institute of Family Studies ithole ukuthi omama e-Australia bachitha isilinganiso samahora angu-25 ngesonto emsebenzini wasekhaya ongakhokhelwa.
Uma kuqhathaniswa namahora angu-14 ngesonto kobaba. Futhi, umbiko we-Oxfam South Africa ukhombisa ukuthi abesifazane baseNingizimu Afrika bachitha isilinganiso samahora amane engeziwe ngosuku emsebenzini wokunakekela ongakhokhelwa, njengokupheka, ukuhlanza, nokunakekela izingane nezihlobo esezikhulile, konke okunezela ekukhuleni kwabo kwengqondo kube umthwalo.
Ukuwudiliza nakakhulu, umthwalo wengqondo wenziwa izingxenye ezimbili.
Kunomsebenzi wokuqonda okuyiyo yonke imithwalo yemfanelo yasekhaya egcina ikhaya lisebenza kahle usuku nosuku, njengokuhlela izinto ezenziwa amalungu omndeni, ukuyothenga, izinsuku zokudlala zezingane, imidwebo eyengeziwe, ukufunda esikoleni, ukuqokwa kodokotela, nokunye.
Konke ukuze kuqinisekiswe ukuthi wonke umuntu osohlwini lomndeni usebenza ngendlela engokoqobo.
Bese kuba nomsebenzi ongokomzwelo futhi lokhu kuhilela ukulawula izimo ezingokomzwelo zamalungu omkhaya. Njengokukhathazeka ngokuthi izingane zakho zijabule yini esikoleni noma ukuthi izidingo ezingokomzwelo zomyeni wakho ziyahlangatshezwa. Kuyizwi eliqhubekayo nelingapheli ezingqondweni zethu komama, ukuhlela ikusasa, nokukhathazeka ngezidingo zabathandekayo bethu. Yiqiniso, ukutubeka kuseduze futhi cishe akunakugwenywa!
Sonke singene embonweni wokuthi abesifazane bangcono ekwenzeni izinto eziningi, ukuthi singabahleli nabahleli abangcono. Umphakathi usitshele lezi zici zobuntu bethu, futhi sikholelwa ukuthi ziyiqiniso. Sifunde ukugqoka lezi zimfanelo njengebheji lokuhlonipha, okungase mhlawumbe kuchaze ukuthi kungani umthwalo wengqondo yowesifazane ubonakala ukhula kakhulu ngisho naphakathi nosuku neminyaka lapho abalwela amalungelo abesifazane bekhule baqina kakhulu ngezwi futhi ukulingana kwabesifazane kuyinto yangempela.
Kungani sisawela kulo mbhedo?
Kungani singazange sihlukanise umthwalo wengqondo futhi sinikeze amadoda ethu ingxenye yawo? Ngiyakholwa, sekungene shí kithi, kungabonakali kakhulu kithi, kangangokuthi sivele sikuthathe ngaphandle kokucabanga. Kuye kwadluliselwa kusuka kwesinye isizukulwane somama kuya kwesinye. Angicabangi ukuthi siyakuqaphela lokho esizifaka kukho bese siba nezingane, futhi umthwalo uba mkhulu futhi usongela ukusiphula.
Kuhlehlela emuva emphakathini wezinzalamizi esisahlala kuwo. Kungumsebenzi wowesifazane ukuphatha ikhaya kanye nesibopho sowesilisa ukuletha inyama ekhaya. Kodwa umhlaba usushintshile. Imindeni ayikwazi ukuphila ngeholo elilodwa. Futhi, abesifazane bafuna ukuphishekela imisebenzi yabo siqu.
Ukuze senze lokhu kuye kwadingeka sithole indlela yokusebenza ngokuguquguquka, kuyilapho imisebenzi yamadoda ibonakala njengeqinile, imisebenzi yabo ngokwesiko ilandelana. Lokhu kusho ukuthi thina besifazane siqhubekile nendima yethu njengabahlengikazi nabanakekeli futhi sithole izindlela zokuhlanganisa umsebenzi kule zibalo. Siyaqhubeka nokuthwala umthwalo wengqondo.
Sikhule sikholelwa ukuthi ukubaluleka kwethu kuhlobene nokuba onkulunkulukazi abaziqhenyayo ngezindlu nokuthi singabantu abanamandla angaphezu kwavamile ngokubamba imisebenzi kuyilapho sigcina umkhaya uqinile. I-#Supermom ivame ukusetshenziswa ezimeni zethu zenhlalo njengento esingaziqhenya ngayo. Kodwa-ke iqiniso liwukuthi sekuyinto enhle okufanele thina besifazane sifinyelele kuyo ngokushesha nje lapho singena ekubeni ngumama. Ngokusobala, kuyakhathaza!
Ucwaningo lukhomba ngokusobala ukuthi abesifazane iningi labo bacindezelekile, bakhathele, bakhathazekile, futhi abajabulile phakathi neminyaka yabo yokukhulisa izingane, kanti amadoda ngokuvamile ajabule kakhulu ngoba njengobaba, aqala ukugxila emsebenzini wawo kusukela ngo-8 ekuseni kuya ku-5 ntambama, bese ecisha futhi eze ekhaya ukwenza zonke izinto ezijabulisayo nomkabo nezingane.
Ngemuva kwalokho i-Pandemic yashaya, futhi kwenzeka ukuvala umlomo. Iqembu lomkhaya kwadingeka lifunde ngokushesha ukuphila, ukusebenza, nokudlala ngaphansi kophahla olulodwa. Lokhu kwagqama ukuthi wawumkhulu kangakanani umthwalo esasiwuthwele bomama. Kufanele sikuzwakalise lokhu njalo kozakwethu, abase bephila kanye nathi 24/7. Amadoda ethu athola ubufakazi, aze abambe iqhaza emisebenzini engapheli, ekhandlayo njalo yokuphatha ikhaya. Lokhu kwabangela ukuba abanye babo bathwale umthwalo wengqondo, ikakhulukazi uma kuziwa ezidingweni zezingane zabo. Okwagcina kucace kakhulu ngesikhathi sokuvalwa, ukuthi iningi labesilisa lifuna ukuzibandakanya kakhulu ohlelweni lokukhulisa izingane.
Impela kusivule amehlo eqenjini elihambayo, futhi saqala ukukhuluma kabanzi ngokuthi sikudinga kanjani lokhu kuhlukaniswa okungcono kwemisebenzi ukuze siqhubeke ngemuva kobhubhane. Ukuthi abantu besifazane bethu bangaphambi kobhubhane babevele baxake kanjani. Ukuthi kwakudingeka sihwebe ngemithwalo yethu yengqondo ukuze sibe nempilo engcono yengqondo.
Manje njengoba sesicace kakhudlwana ukuthi kungani umthwalo wengqondo wenza amakhanda ethu kuwo, futhi amadoda ethu ewuqonda kangcono lomthwalo ongabonakali esiwuthwele, sidinga ukuphumela obala ekukhulumeni kwethu mayelana nokuhlanganyela indima yomphathi wekhaya. Kudingeka sicace kakhulu ngokuthi kungakanani ukuhlela okuhilelekile kuzo zonke izici zokunakekela izingane kanye nokuphatha ikhaya. Ngenxa yokulingana kwangempela kobulili, kufanele senze imithwalo yethu engabonakali ibonakale unomphela.
