‘Healing Is Choosing Myself Without Guilt’: Nozipho Ntshangase On Personal Growth and Motherhood

You cannot speak about Nozipho Ntshangase without acknowledging the strong, loving and resilient woman she is. The reality star rose to fame after joining season two of Showmax’s hit reality series The Mommy Club in 2024, where she shared a glimpse of her private life while navigating the highs and lows of motherhood and her marriage.

At the time, Nozipho and her ex-husband, Zola Ntshangase, were raising eight children, five of whom they shared and three from Zola’s previous relationships. Towards the end of the season, however, Nozipho opened up about the cracks that were forming in her marriage. She revealed that her husband intended to take a second wife, a plan she opposed.

She made the difficult decision to leave her marriage to focus on raising her children, while Zola married his new wife. Nozipho is now focused on pursuing her career, motherhood and rebuilding her life.

Through it all, her children have remained her anchor, grounding her as she rebuilds her life with courage and grace. In this candid conversation with BabyYumYum, she gets real about motherhood, what Mother’s Day means to her, choosing herself and rebuilding.

How would you describe this current chapter of your life?

This current chapter of my life feels like a pause, a reset and a rediscovery. I’m rebuilding, growing and stepping into a version of myself that is more intentional, softer, wiser and braver. After years of pouring into everyone else, I’m learning that it’s okay to also pour into myself. It’s a season filled with healing, purpose, motherhood, business and creating a life that reflects who I truly am now.

In moments of calm, what has been occupying your thoughts or shaping your emotions the most?

In the quieter moments, I’ve found myself reflecting a lot on growth, healing and gratitude. There are moments of sadness and uncertainty, but there’s also hope. I think this season has made me more reflective about who I am, what I deserve and the kind of life I truly want to move forward.

What lessons has this experience taught you about yourself as a woman?

This experience has taught me that I am far more resilient than I ever gave myself credit for. It has also taught me the importance of knowing my worth, trusting my voice and allowing myself to grow beyond the roles I have carried for years. I’m learning that starting over is not failure; sometimes it’s the beginning of becoming who you were always meant to be.

Through life’s ups and downs, have you found yourself surprised by the resilience you’ve shown?

There have been moments when I have truly surprised myself with my strength. On days when the emotional weight felt overwhelming, I still managed to show up for my children, my work, and myself. What I have come to realise is that strength is not always loud or dramatic; sometimes it’s found in the quiet decision to rise each morning, to choose to hope again and to keep moving forward even when life feels uncertain.

What has been your biggest source of support during this period?

My biggest sources of comfort have been my faith, my children and the people who genuinely love me. I’ve also found comfort in creating quiet moments for myself, whether it’s prayer, reflection, conversations with close friends, or simply slowing down enough to reconnect with myself.

What does healing look like for you right now?

Healing for me right now looks like choosing myself without guilt. It’s allowing myself to rest, to feel, to rebuild slowly and to embrace joy again. Healing also looks like setting boundaries, being kinder to myself and no longer forcing things that no longer align with my peace.

How are you taking care of your mental and emotional well-being?

I’m taking care of my mental and emotional well-being by being intentional about slowing down and listening to myself. I’ve learned the importance of rest, prayer, meaningful conversations, self-care and creating moments of peace in my daily life. I also give myself grace because healing and growth are not linear journeys.

There’s often pressure to ‘bounce back’ after life changes. How have you allowed yourself to move at your own pace without that pressure?

I’ve had to remind myself that healing and rebuilding are deeply personal journeys. I no longer feel the need to perform strength or rush my process for the sake of appearances. Some days are productive and hopeful and some days require rest and reflection and I’ve learned to honour both without guilt.

As you rebuild and find your rhythm again, what parts of yourself are you reconnecting with or rediscovering?

I’m reconnecting with the woman I was before life became so heavy with responsibility. I’m rediscovering my confidence, my voice, my creativity and my independence. I’m also reconnecting with my dreams, my femininity and the things that genuinely bring me joy outside of motherhood.

If you could speak to your past self before everything changed, what would you warn her about or tell her to do differently?

I would tell my past self never to lose herself while trying to hold everything together for everyone else. I would remind her to trust her intuition more, to choose herself without guilt and to understand that her dreams, voice and individuality matter too. Most importantly, I would tell her that life-changing isn’t the end; sometimes it’s the beginning of a more authentic version of herself.

What does Mother’s Day mean to you in this season of your life?

Mother’s Day in this season means gratitude for me. It’s a reminder of how far I’ve come as a woman and as a mother. I don’t take the small moments for granted anymore, the hugs, the chaos, the laughter, even the difficult days. Being a mother to my children, especially raising five kids, including twins, has taught me strength, patience and unconditional love in ways I never imagined.

How are you planning to spend Mother’s Day this year with your children?

This year, I want Mother’s Day to feel simple yet meaningful. I plan to spend it quietly with my children, sharing a meal, laughing together, resting and simply being present. My children know how much I value quality time, so anything rooted in love, honesty, and togetherness is what makes me happiest.

What role do your kids play in your world?

My children are my greatest gift and my biggest purpose. They ground me, inspire me and remind me daily why I keep going. Everything I do is connected to the life I want to create for them and the example I want to set. They’ve seen me at my strongest and most vulnerable, and through it all, they continue to give me love in its purest form.

How has this journey shaped the kind of mother you are today?

It has shaped me into a more compassionate and emotionally attuned mother. I’ve come to understand that children don’t need perfection; they need presence. Today, I am intentional about creating a safe and nurturing space where my children feel heard, loved, and truly understood. Along the way, I’ve also come to embrace the importance of modelling resilience, grace and the courage to begin again when life takes unexpected turns.

What has motherhood looked like for you during this time of change?

Motherhood during this season of change has looked very intentional, honest, and faith-filled. There have been moments of uncertainty, but my children have also been my source of strength. I’ve learned that motherhood isn’t about having all the answers; it’s about showing up with love every single day. Even during change, I wanted my children to feel still safe, seen, and deeply loved, and that has remained my priority above everything else.

What has this season taught you about the kind of environment you want to create for your children emotionally and mentally?

This season has taught me how important emotional safety is for children. I want my children to grow up in an environment where they feel heard, loved, supported and free to express themselves without fear. I want our home to be a place of peace, warmth, honesty, and emotional and mental stability.

How are you creating a sense of stability and normalcy for your children?

I try to create stability for my children by being emotionally present and consistent. Children feel energy more than words, so I’ve been intentional about creating a home environment filled with love, openness, routine, and reassurance. Even during change, I want them to know that they are safe, protected and deeply loved.

What has been the biggest adjustment lately with them?

The biggest adjustment lately has been navigating growth and transition with them while also evolving as a woman myself. My children are growing, becoming more independent, and entering different stages of life, which come with new conversations, emotions, and responsibilities. At the same time, I’m also rediscovering myself beyond motherhood, and balancing those two journeys has been both beautiful and challenging.

How are you balancing motherhood with your personal growth and independence?

Balancing motherhood with personal growth has required intentionality and grace. For so many years, motherhood naturally became the centre of my life. However, I’m now learning that I can still be a loving, present mother while also pursuing my own dreams, healing, education, business and independence. I want my children to see a mother who chooses herself.

What role has your support system (family, friends) played in this journey?

My support system has played such an important role in helping me navigate this season. Having family and friends who remind you of who you are, encourage you, and simply show up for you makes a huge difference. Sometimes strength also comes from allowing yourself to receive support instead of carrying everything alone.

What are some of the small wins you’ve celebrated since starting over?

I’ve learned to celebrate the small wins because they matter so much in a season of rebuilding. Whether it’s creating new opportunities for myself, growing my podcast and business, showing up confidently again, finding moments of happiness, or simply making it through difficult days with hope intact, every small step feels meaningful. Those small wins remind me that progress is happening, even when it’s quiet.

What are you most focused on building for yourself and your children now?

Right now, I’m focused on building a peaceful, stable and fulfilling life for myself and my children. I want to create a future rooted in love, emotional security, purpose, and opportunity. I’m also focused on building my career, growing my platforms and businesses, and creating a legacy my children can be proud of.

How are you redefining happiness in this new phase of your life?

I’m redefining happiness as peace, alignment and freedom. It’s no longer about perfection or appearances; it’s about feeling emotionally grounded, waking up with purpose, laughing freely with my children, and living a life that feels honest and fulfilling to me. Happiness now feels softer, calmer, and more intentional.

Looking ahead, what should we anticipate from you professionally?

You can still expect authenticity, growth, and purpose from me moving forward. I’m excited to continue growing my podcast, expanding my business ventures, collaborating with brands that align with my journey and using my platform to inspire and connect with women, especially mothers navigating change and rediscovery. This season has made me more passionate about showing up fully and intentionally in my career.