Nozipho Ntshangase on her 8 kids and dealing with marital challenges. Reality TV star Nozipho Ntshangase is the newest addition to the cast of The Mommy Club, a popular reality show on Showmax. By Goodwill Thomo.
The Mommy Club follows six Johannesburg mothers as they balance motherhood, marriage, and their careers. Ntshangase’s warm personality and open-hearted approach to motherhood has won the hearts of many viewers of the reality show.
Nozipho Ntshangase, tell us more about your children.
I have eight children– five boys and three girls. My oldest son is Luthando ( 20); Mbhele (18), Lizwelihle (16), Kholwane (15), Buhlebonke (13), twins Zibusiso and Zenkosi (3), and Bukhosibamabhele (2).
What have been the highs of motherhood?
I became a mother at a very young age. I blended my family, so some are not biologically mine. But I’ve been mothering them since they were young, I’ve been able to form a bond with them since they were young.
I enjoy everything about being a mother, especially the great joy of witnessing the fruits of my labour, particularly when I see the positive outcomes of their hard work and perseverance.
Observing their growth, resilience, and good manners, I can see the impact of my teachings and guidance. I am also grateful for the support of their father, who has been a valuable ally on this journey.
What advice can you offer about a blended family set-up?
Every situation is different. In my case, I wanted my biological children to be close to their siblings. My children are all treated equally, to such an extent that my youngest child may not even realise that the older children are not biologically mine.
We have never kept a secret from him; it’s just the way things have always been. They all do the same activities, attend the same schools, and receive the same rewards.
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What’s it like to raise twins?
It’s been a truly been a satisfying experience. We were prepared and filled with excitement when they came into the world because we waited a long time for their arrival.
After welcoming our child, Buhlebenkosi, my husband and I faced difficulties trying to conceive again. I experienced secondary infertility, which is the struggle to get pregnant or maintain a pregnancy after already having a child. We then decided to pursue IVF (in vitro fertilization) and were blessed with the twins.
How do you take care of your health?
Ensuring the well-being of my children is my top priority. But when you start feeling physically exhausted, it becomes clear that self-care is essential.
What challenges have you faced as a mother, Nozipho?
I wouldn’t necessarily call them challenges, but now and then, you question yourself if you are truly giving your children the attention they deserve. It can be overwhelming, but having a schedule is essential to be available for them. Am I equally attentive to each of them? That’s always on my mind.
What has motherhood taught you?
Motherhood has shown me the importance of patience and the understanding that love knows no boundaries. Whether a child is biologically yours or not, the love you feel for them remains the same.
What is important for you to instill in your kids?
I am trying to mould them into kind people, and I am teaching them to give back to others and be generous. I always tell them that even if I die, they must continue to unite, care for, and love each other.
They must always remember our teachings with their father that whether they are blended or not, they must love each other.
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How do you and your husband collaborate in child-raising?
I was fortunate that my husband was actively involved right from the beginning. He can take care of and feed the kids when needed. He is a highly involved father, embracing modern parenting despite traditional expectations. I am grateful that we share the same values.
But, I am currently facing challenges in my marriage, which affects the children. We are in a state where it’s a bit hectic at this moment, so it does unfortunately impact them too.
I have been open with my followers for a long time, sharing my family, the good times, and the struggles of infertility. It’s important to me to share my problems too, as I know others may be facing similar challenges in their relationships.
Taking care of my mental health is my top priority. I had to focus on myself to have peace of mind. I didn’t sacrifice my well-being just to maintain a facade of happiness for others. If that means dealing with challenges in public, then so be it.
It has been a struggle. My son was abroad when the chaos got hectic. I couldn’t reach him or hug him. Luckily, I speak to my kids about everything, and they go to schools where there are psychologists on the premises to help them. I’m still figuring out how to help the little ones.
Tell us about joining The Mommy Club as a cast member?
I received various requests from reality show producers in South Africa over time. While undergoing IVF, I relocated from KwaZulu-Natal to Johannesburg, making it difficult to commit.
However, when The Mommy Club reached out to me, I felt a strong connection. I just knew this was the opportunity I had been waiting for. This is where the new chapter in my life began.
How has your experience with the show been, Nozipho?
Being on the show, The Mommy Club has some challenges. I never expected such long hours of shooting. If the opportunity had arrived when I didn’t have turmoil in my marriage, I would have enjoyed it more. It happened to be when I was facing difficulties, especially during the last few episodes. But overall, I had a great experience.
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