Yes, toddlers throw tantrums, smear food on the walls, and somehow never sit still—but having toddlers is not all doom & gloom! In fact, between the chaos and cuddles, there’s a wild kind of magic that makes these years unforgettable. From unexpected belly laughs to the sweetest “I love yous,” this stage is full of tiny moments that make the madness more than worth it. Written by Jessica Baxter, Real Home Truths.
My son is turning three in two weeks. How can it be that my youngest is already three? I remember wishing for the day my kids were a little bigger, a little more independent but, somehow, it’s come around all too quickly. And it’s still not a walk in the park.
In the early days of parenting when I was up at all hours of the night, only to spend my days changing dirty nappies, sterilising bottles and pushing the pram down every street of the neighbourhood until I had blisters on my feet, I dreamt of this stage: the toddler years.
Little did I know they came with tantrums, bedwetting, food throwing and general chaos. I suppose they aren’t dubbed “the terrible twos” for nothing. And it seems, if my daughter is anything to go by, “the “f***ing fours” are not going to be much easier.
Just yesterday I walked in on her helping herself to my makeup – apparently the play-play stuff just doesn’t do it for her; she prefers the Chanel eye shadow to the Barbie one. My foundation brush was also used to apply blush – and a lot of it – while my expensive red lipstick, which I don’t even wear very often (although I think I should) was smeared not only all over my daughter’s face, but also all over my white dresser.
Meanwhile, in the kitchen, my son had pulled a bar stool up to the fridge, opened it and was about to start helping himself to last night’s leftovers. As any parent will know, when I insisted the make-up lesson was over and the kitchen was closed, I was subjected to a fair amount of screaming that was only stopped with the promise of a sweet – which is what my son was apparently hunting for anyway. Yes, bribery is alive and well in my house.
“More independence for them means more freedom for me (to an extent) and watching as their personalities develop is thrilling.”
Food seems to be the source of many of the arguments in our house – either I’m shouting at the kids for fighting over the last biscuit or they’re shouting at me because my homecooked meal isn’t what they feel like eating – they’d prefer said biscuit. While I’m grateful that dinnertime no longer involves a multitude of puréed vegetables, it’s certainly not without its challenges.
Now my kids can tell me what they’d like to see on the menu (or as it turns out, what they don’t want), which is most often peanut-butter and honey sandwiches (which I insist does not qualify as an appropriate dinner option) or hot dogs “with the sausage on the side please” – meaning they really just want a buttered roll with tomato sauce on. Also not a nutritious choice.
I serve them a more balanced meal and most of the time they actually do eat it but on the evenings that they refuse, I use my very well-honed bribery skills to coax them to have one more bite. It’s amazing the power a gummy sweet has over a child.
However, it’s not all doom and gloom. More independence for them means more freedom for me (to an extent) and watching as their personalities develop is thrilling. The toddler years also require less stuff – you’re not weighed down by nappy bags, strollers, car seats and camp cots.
You get to go on plenty of adventures and see the world through a whole new perspective. But the toddler years don’t magically return your life to its pre-kids glory days. I still don’t get a full night’s sleep (we’re working on it), my bottle sterilising has been replaced by endless hours of laundry and, while I’m not pushing a pram, I’m now chasing after two kids on bikes.
But, despite having far less time for myself and far less money, my life is so much richer and my time is much better spent. So, while your life is irrevocably changed when you become a parent, so are you. And dare I say it, for the better.
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FAQs: Why Having Toddlers Isn’t All Doom and Gloom: Chaos, Laughter & Love in One Package
Are toddlers really as difficult as people say?
While toddlers can be challenging, they’re also full of curiosity, humour and love. With the right perspective and support, this stage can be joyful, not just stressful.
What makes toddlerhood so chaotic?
Toddlers are learning independence, communication and emotional regulation—all at once. Tantrums, big feelings and unpredictable behaviour are common, but part of normal development.
Why do toddlers have so many mood swings?
Their brains are still developing, especially the parts that handle emotions and self-control. They often feel things intensely but can’t yet express them calmly.
Can toddler tantrums be reduced?
Yes. Consistent routines, offering choices and staying calm can help prevent or shorten tantrums. Empathy and patience go a long way in easing power struggles.
Is there really joy in raising toddlers?
Absolutely. Toddlers are full of wonder and imagination. Their funny comments, cuddles and milestones offer daily moments of pure joy and connection.
How can I bond better with my toddler?
Get down to their level, join in their play, read stories together and follow their lead when possible. Small moments of attention make a big difference.
Do toddlers understand more than they let on?
Yes. Toddlers often understand more language and emotion than they can express. Always speak to them with respect and encouragement—they’re taking it all in.
Is it normal to feel overwhelmed by toddler parenting?
Completely. It’s a demanding phase. Reach out to other parents, ask for help and remember that needing a break doesn’t make you a bad parent.
What are some positives of having a toddler?
They’re affectionate, hilarious and incredibly curious. Watching them learn, play and discover the world is both entertaining and deeply rewarding.
How do I stay patient through the chaos?
Self-care is key—get rest when you can, share responsibilities and take moments to breathe. Remind yourself that this phase is temporary and full of growth.
Will life ever feel calm again?
Yes. Every phase passes. As your toddler grows, things gradually become more predictable. You’ll find your rhythm—and miss some of the chaos too!
What’s the best way to embrace this stage?
Let go of perfection, laugh through the mess and soak up the cuddles. Toddlerhood is loud and wild, but it’s also brimming with love and unforgettable moments.
Disclaimer: This content is for general support and guidance only. For specific parenting concerns or mental health support, please consult a qualified professional or healthcare provider.
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