Puberty and adolescence are often treated as milestones that young people simply pass through. There is an assumption that physical changes happen naturally and that teenagers will eventually figure things out on their own. What this perspective overlooks is that adolescence is one of the most complex and vulnerable stages of development, shaped not only by hormones but also by relationships, social pressures, identity and self-esteem.
These challenges were explored in a conversation hosted by Amanda Rogaly, founder and CEO of BabyYumYum, and Dr Mpume Zenda, an obstetrician, gynaecologist, sexologist and mother. Their discussion highlighted the importance of helping girls understand their changing bodies while creating environments where they feel safe, supported and empowered.
For many young women, the transition from childhood to adolescence is accompanied by confusion. Physical changes can arrive before emotional maturity has fully developed, while social media, peer pressure and unrealistic expectations add new layers of complexity. Helping girls navigate this period not only requires information; it also requires trust, communication and confidence.
Puberty Is More Than Physical Change
While puberty is often associated with periods and bodily development, Dr Zenda believes the transition is far more complex.
“There is so much more to that transition from childhood to teenager,” she tells Amanda.
Some girls struggle with menstrual changes, while others face challenges related to body image, weight gain, friendships or mental health. Social media has also introduced new pressures, exposing young people to constant comparisons and opinions at an age when self-confidence is still developing.
“We live in such a day that is so highly charged with opinions, social media, how you should be, acceptance and fitting in,” Dr Zenda explained.
These pressures can make adolescence feel overwhelming, particularly when young people lack trusted adults to guide them through the experience.
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Why Body Confidence Starts at Home
Throughout the discussion, Dr Zenda returned to the role families play in shaping how girls see themselves.
“The home is the place where our children should feel most loved, most accepted and especially most validated,” she said.
While schools, friends and online spaces all influence self-esteem, the foundation is often established within the family environment. Children who feel supported at home are generally better equipped to navigate criticism and external pressures.
Dr Zenda believes validation is particularly important during adolescence, when girls are beginning to compare themselves to others and question where they fit in.
“The world is going to try and toy with that. If that is not intact from home, it becomes much harder,” she said.
Amanda, who is a mother to two girls, agreed. She noted that many parents underestimate the impact of everyday conversations.
“The way we speak to our children shapes how they speak to themselves,” she said.
Teaching Consent Before It Becomes Necessary
The conversation also challenged the idea that discussions about consent should begin only when teenagers start dating. For Dr Zenda, consent is fundamentally about agency and understanding personal boundaries.
“We are empowering this person to have agency for themselves and to be able to advocate for themselves regardless of the situation they find themselves in,” she said.
Healthcare consultations often provide opportunities to reinforce these lessons. By encouraging teenagers to ask questions and express concerns, professionals can help young people understand that their voices matter.
Dr Zenda believes these conversations are particularly important because many young people struggle to distinguish between privacy and secrecy.
“You are teaching them that their privacy is important and that they have the right to speak up when something does not feel right,” she explained.
Amanda described this ability to advocate for oneself as a critical life skill.
“That ability to stand in your own shoes and validate your decisions is incredibly powerful,” she said.
When Should Teenagers See a Gynaecologist?
Many parents assume a visit to a gynaecologist is only necessary when something is wrong. According to Dr Zenda, this is a common misconception, as she emphasised that “there is no definitive age”.
A first consultation may focus on understanding menstrual cycles, discussing puberty or simply building a relationship with a trusted healthcare provider.
“The most important thing is that you are developing that relationship. You are finding who your person is in this space,” Dr Zenda explained.
She also stressed that a consultation should feel safe, respectful and confidential. Creating that environment encourages teenagers to seek help when they need it rather than avoiding care because of fear or embarrassment.
ALSO READ: 6 Ways to Talk to Your Teens About Sex Without the Awkwardness
Understanding Teenage Pregnancy Beyond Stereotypes
Teenage pregnancy remains a significant concern in South Africa, but Dr Zenda cautioned against simplistic assumptions.
One common stereotype is that teenagers who fall pregnant lack ambition or future goals. Her experience tells a different story.
“We think girls who fall pregnant are not interested in a career. That is not true,” she said.
Many young women have aspirations and dreams but face barriers related to poverty, limited educational opportunities and a lack of support systems.
Access also plays a significant role. Teenagers in affluent communities may receive private support and guidance, while those in under-resourced areas often have fewer options available to them.
Dr Zenda believes the conversation should focus less on blame and more on creating opportunities.
“These children need people who can see their potential and help them build towards it,” she said.
Why Teenagers Need Guidance, Not Judgement
Another important point raised during the discussion was the biological reality of adolescence.
The parts of the brain responsible for emotional responses develop earlier than the areas associated with long-term decision-making. This means teenagers often experience intense feelings before they have fully developed the ability to assess future consequences.
Dr Zenda believes adults sometimes forget this reality when responding to teenage behaviour.
“We are often too quick to blame teenagers instead of asking what we are doing to support them,” she said.
Rather than approaching adolescence with judgement, she advocates for curiosity, communication and ongoing guidance.
Amanda agreed that many parents react from a place of fear: “We panic on our children’s behalf.”
Raising Confident Young Women
Throughout the conversation, one theme remained constant. Adolescence should not be approached as a problem to solve but as a stage of life that requires support.
Whether the issue is puberty, consent, body image or relationships, girls benefit when they are given accurate information and trusted adults who are willing to listen.
“All they really want is for us to say, ‘You’re okay. You’re amazing,’” Dr Zenda said.
In a world where young people face growing pressures from social media, peers and society, those messages matter more than ever.
Helping girls navigate puberty and adolescence is not only about preparing them for adulthood; it is about giving them the confidence, knowledge and sense of self-worth they need to thrive long before they get there.
WATCH THE FULL CONVERSATION IN THE YOUTUBE VIDEO BELOW:
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