Is "panda parenting" the key to a child's success? This innovative parenting style, which combines nurturing care with firm boundaries, has been gaining popularity. Unlike the "tiger mom" approach, panda parenting aims to support children's independence while providing a loving environment. Written by Tanya Kovarsky, Rattle & Mum.
You’ve heard of helicopter moms, lawnmower moms and tiger moms. Now there’s a new mom on the block, the panda mom.
Instead of pushing their kids to succeed (tiger), hovering over them and helping them with everything (helicopter) or helping to clear every obstacle in their way (lawnmower), a panda mom guides her child instead of pushing, and allow them to follow their own path, with the support of their parents.
Coined by US author and teacher Esther Wojcicki, panda parenting is also about encouraging your kids to take responsibility and learn from their mistakes. It’s about patience, love and gentle guidance, and, according to Wojcicki, it combines hard and soft techniques to offer the “perfect ratio of cuddliness and claw”, and allows kids to gain their own sense of self-responsibility.
Wojcicki has two pretty good proof points behind her approach – her daughters Susan and Anne, both two of America’s richest self-made women. Susan, the oldest of Esther’s three daughters, was Google’s 16th employee and was CEO of YouTube for nine years. Anne, the youngest, gets her fortune from 23andMe, the $2.5 billion genomics company that she co-founded. Her middle child, Janet, a professor, is in the academic field.
According to Forbes, Wojcicki said that she knew that if she challenged her daughters early, they would grow into independent and critical thinkers. “I didn’t give them anything, even when they were little,” said Wojcicki. “They had to earn it.”
“…panda parenting combines hard and soft techniques to offer the ‘perfect ratio of cuddliness and claw’, and allows kids to gain their own sense of self-responsibility.”
Her panda parenting model is based on TRICK: trust, respect, independence, collaboration and kindness. She says that her daughters were never afraid to tell her anything, and they were empowered from an early age to make their own money and spend it however they thought they needed to.
“As a parent, you have to keep it zipped,” Esther told Daily Mail in an interview. “Panda mums aren’t lazy. What they do is give children scaffolding to let them go free. Instead of always intervening, you only help when they need it.” She believed in the method throughout her daughters’ young lives, and when Anne wanted to drop out of Yale and be a nanny, she didn’t intervene. Anne later changed her mind.
She also has advice about screen time. “You have to compromise. Let children have two hours screen time, with one hour on apps you think are important. Then, during the other, they can play on ones they think are important,” she says. She also points out that parental control only works until they are 14, after which one can only “respect your kids’ ideas and preferences, otherwise communication shuts down, just when they most need your support.”
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FAQ’s: Is “Panda Parenting” the Key to a Child’s Success?
What is panda parenting? Panda parenting is a style that balances nurturing support with allowing children to face challenges independently. Parents offer guidance and protection, but also encourage their children to solve problems on their own.
How does panda parenting differ from other parenting styles? Unlike helicopter parenting, which involves constant supervision and intervention, panda parenting promotes autonomy. It is more supportive than free-range parenting, providing a safety net while still fostering independence.
What are the main principles of panda parenting? Panda parenting focuses on providing emotional support, encouraging problem-solving skills, promoting resilience, and allowing children to experience and learn from failures.
Can panda parenting help a child succeed academically? Yes, by fostering problem-solving skills and resilience, panda parenting can help children develop a strong work ethic and the ability to overcome academic challenges independently.
How does panda parenting promote emotional wellbeing? This approach supports emotional development by encouraging children to manage their own emotions and stresses, while knowing they have a reliable support system in their parents.
What are the potential benefits of panda parenting for long-term success? Children raised with panda parenting may develop strong self-reliance, adaptability, and confidence. These traits are beneficial for success in various aspects of life, including education, relationships, and careers.
Are there any risks associated with panda parenting? If not balanced well, there is a risk of children feeling abandoned or unsupported. It’s crucial for parents to provide enough support to ensure their children feel secure while encouraging independence.
How can parents implement panda parenting effectively? Parents can implement panda parenting by offering support and guidance when necessary, encouraging independent problem-solving, and allowing children to face age-appropriate challenges and learn from their experiences.
What are some examples of panda parenting in practice? Examples include allowing children to handle conflicts with friends independently, encouraging them to complete homework on their own while being available for questions, and letting them manage minor setbacks to build resilience.
Is panda parenting suitable for all children? While many children can benefit from this balanced approach, it may need to be adjusted based on individual temperaments and needs. Some children may require more support or guidance than others.
How do experts view panda parenting? Many experts endorse panda parenting as a healthy middle ground between overly protective and overly permissive styles. It is seen as a way to promote independence while ensuring children feel supported.
Can panda parenting be combined with other parenting styles? Yes, parents can blend elements of panda parenting with other styles to suit their child’s needs. The key is to maintain a balance of support and independence tailored to each child’s unique requirements.
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