Embarking on the journey of motherhood is a profound experience, but it can also be daunting to make mom friends. Antonella Dési explores the challenges new mothers face, the importance of building a support network, and practical tips for connecting with other moms.
Becoming a new mother is a beautiful and life-changing experience. However, it can also be a time filled with challenges and adjustments. One of the most significant difficulties for new moms is the feeling of isolation. The demands of caring for a newborn, coupled with the physical and emotional changes that come with motherhood, can leave many new mothers feeling overwhelmed and alone. This is where forming friendships with other new moms can be incredibly beneficial.
Alexandra Wallis from Mums Support Network, a community organisation run by mothers that offer support and encouragement to other moms in need, says, “Every mother undergoes a profound physical and emotional change in her life as she makes the transition from woman to mother, known as matrescence. This change can be challenging at times, and it is immensely helpful for mothers to find support with other mothers going through the same thing.”
The challenges of being a new mom
The overwhelming nature of being a mother can be a really demanding role. Caring for a newborn is a full-time job, and it can be difficult to find time for yourself, let alone finding time to exercise, socialise, and work. Additionally, the physical and emotional changes that come with childbirth and postpartum recovery can leave many new mothers feeling vulnerable and unsure of themselves. Having friends who are going through the same thing can provide much-needed reassurance and validation.
Kelly Kent from Baby Bright Stars, a company who organises workshops for babies and mothers, elaborates: “Being a mother, especially a first-time mom, can be extremely challenging, exhausting and overwhelming. As mothers are traditionally the nurturers, they find they have little time for themselves. Many experience postpartum depression, loneliness, and feelings of isolation. Feelings of ‘mom-guilt’ – when mums must return to work after their maternity leave – can also be traumatising.
“Mothers have so many balls to juggle and pressures from society to look, feel and act a certain way. One of the main reasons I started Baby Bright Stars nearly 12 years ago, was to provide a safe and happy space, not only where babies can thrive, but also for their moms – a place where they can socialise and meet other moms with infants similar ages as their own. A place where they can be themselves and realise they are not alone in this motherhood journey.”
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The importance of making mom friends
Having friends who are also new mothers can provide you with a sense of camaraderie and support that is unlike any other. These friends understand the challenges you are facing because they are going through them too. They can offer advice, share their experiences, and provide a listening ear when you need it most. Having a support network of other moms can help combat feelings of isolation and loneliness, which are common among new mothers. Here are some tips on making mom friends:
Join mom groups: Look for local mom groups in your area. These groups often host events and meetups where you can connect with other moms in a similar stage of life. Says Alexandra, “By recognising and normalising the matrescence journey, we can create a supportive environment where mothers can embrace their evolving identities and find strength in solidarity. One of the key ways we facilitate connections among mothers is through our carefully curated online and in-person support groups. These groups serve as safe havens where mothers can share their experiences, joys, and struggles, without judgement or fear.”
She says that in the Mums Support Network online support groups, mothers have the opportunity to connect with each other from the comfort of their own homes: “Through virtual meetings and chat platforms, we foster a sense of community and belonging regardless of geographical location. Whether it’s discussing late-night feedings, sleep regressions, or more personal issues, our online support groups offer a lifeline to mothers in need.
However, she notes that the importance of face-to-face interaction in nurturing genuine connections cannot be underestimated: “We also host regular in-person support group meetings. These gatherings provide mothers with the chance to meet one another in a warm and inviting atmosphere. Whilst chatting over a cup of tea, our in-person support groups offer a space for mothers to forge lasting friendships and lean on one another for support.”
Attend mom and baby classes: Sign up for classes like Mommy and Me yoga or baby music classes. Google to find the many group class options (eg Moms and Miracles, Clamber Club, Kindermusik etc) in your area. These classes not only provide enrichment for your baby, but also offer an opportunity to meet other moms.
Kelly notes that it can be quite daunting for a new mother to attend a baby class or a mom’s support group: “For this reason, all our facilitators at Baby Bright Stars, are trained to be as welcoming as possible and introduce new moms to other members in the class and to make them feel welcome, included and as comfortable as possible. In our classes, there is always support, encouragement, advice, fun, and tons of laughter. For many moms, coming to their Baby Bright Stars class is the highlight of their week.”
In our classes we form WhatsApp groups, so the class members have access to each other outside the weekly sessions that they attend. In these groups, they can ask for advice, breastfeeding/teething tips, arrange play dates, share recipes, and so on. Over the years, we have groups that have become great friends and meet regularly for playdates at coffee shops, exercise together, have ‘dinner dates’ and they share their photographs on social media. This is so special and heartwarming for me to see. However, it must be said, that mothers too, must put in the effort to make new friends and in that way, you eventually find your mom crew.”
Utilise social media: Join parenting forums or Facebook groups for new moms. Social media has revolutionised how moms can connect with each other. Platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and parenting forums provide a virtual space where moms can share experiences, seek advice, and build friendships. These platforms allow moms to join groups specifically tailored to their interests or circumstances, such as new mother groups or parenting communities. Some popular ones include Mamahood Gauteng, South African Moms, and Boss Moms South Africa.
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Attend community events: Local community events are a great place to meet other new moms. Go to your local library’s Storytime for babies and toddlers. Community centres sometimes host workshops for new parents, or you can go there to get your baby vaccinated, which is another great way of meeting new moms. Visiting parks and playgrounds in your neighbourhood allows you to socialise with other moms while your children are playing. And of course, church, community and other religious or likeminded groups can be an awesome place to meet other parents who share your values and interests.
Reach out to other moms: Don’t be afraid to strike up a conversation with other moms you meet at the park or the grocery store. You never know where or when you might find a new friend. By reaching out to other new mothers and forming meaningful connections, you can create a network of friends who will not only celebrate your triumphs but also provide a shoulder to lean on during the challenging times. So, go on and put yourself out there and make the effort to cultivate these friendships—you and your baby will both benefit from the connections you make.
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