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It was 06:00 in the morning and the air felt crisp. I could hear the birds chirping in the distance and there was stillness in the air. As I stretched to prepare for my morning run, I gazed at the thick grey clouds that seemed to threaten today’s victorious accomplishment. I am by no means a Comrades marathon runner, but being able to summit those Bryanston hills consistently makes me feel like a champion. A pro in a league of her own. For my own sanity, I triple checked the weather forecast and it predicted light showers with a probability of 14% rain. I took a deep breath and decided that I was going to start and finish my run that day. Little did I know, Mother Nature had other plans. I had only been running for about 10 minutes when the light showers began. I brushed it off and didn’t think too much of it. Approximately 6 minutes later, what had seemed to be light showers became a downpour. In the distance, I could hear the neighbourhood lightning siren go off, and I decided there and then, I was not going to be buried as the wanna-be Comrades Champion. Fortunately, there were some office parks nearby, so I ran as fast as my legs could carry me to shelter. The security guards were kind enough to allow me to take refuge under the covered pavement at the guard house and my life was spared. I would live to run another day!
Reflecting on this experience, I thought, goodness me, this surely does portray how financial planning can be. You start with the perfect plan at the beginning of the year and you anticipate that there will be light showers here and there in the form of emergencies, and in some instances, it doesn’t just rain, it pours! How then do you manage or cope if unforeseen circumstances happen during the year? Here are my three tips to make sure you are thoroughly prepared financially for that thunderstorm:
It is not a coincidence; they call it that because the rain will come, but will you be ready for it? As a Certified Financial Planner, I recommend that you try to reach a goal of no less than six months’ worth of your expenses in your rainy day fund. If your monthly expenses are R30 000, then you should aspire to have a rainy day fund of at least R180 000. While this might feel like a daunting goal, it helps to break it down into smaller milestones that you can keep track of over time. As an example, you could start with a goal of building the rainy day fund to cover 1 month’s worth of expenses. You would then need to be clear on how much time you are committing to achieving these goals, which could be over 12 months. Once you achieve this goal, you then build on it until you get to your six-month target.
Life happens, and we all know that. The fortitude of a financial plan is not in being risk and failure-proof, it is in having the right kind of measures that ensure you can weather the financial storm if it passes your way. Most people would agree with me that having an umbrella is one way to make sure you do not get wet. In the same way, making sure you have appropriate cover for household contents, for death, disability or dread disease claims, for medical emergencies, for retrenchment, for your motor vehicles or for your buildings is not just nice to have, it is a must have if you want to make sure you do not get drenched in the bills that follow unforeseen events like theft, accidents, retrenchment, health trauma and so on. Having appropriate insurance is a great way to protect you and those you love so that you not only survive but thrive after the storm.
Most of us have heard the adage: Do not keep all your eggs in one basket. The same holds true for your income streams. Never rely on one income stream. COVID taught us the profound lesson that money cometh and money goeth. The average millionaire has at least seven income streams and we can all take a page out of their playbook of success. How many streams of income are you earning? Consider the ways in which you can monetise your skills, existing assets, underutilised property or make your talents “bankable.” We all have something to offer as we solve the numerous problems that inundate the modern world. If that seems daunting, then consider earning interest, dividends or rental incomes through investing. The key is to find something you understand and that you are comfortable with and run confidently with it.
Until we meet on the streets of Bryanston during my morning run, commit to being ready to withstand the financial storms of life! You’ve got this!
There’s no feeling like imagining the limitless possibilities life has in store for your children. Whether you’re still expecting or seeing them develop during the …
Let’s be honest! Parenting isn’t all cuddles and cupcakes. It’s also chaos, coffee and Googling “is it normal if my toddler eats crayons?” at 2AM. That’s why we built a BabyYumYum Premium Membership – your smart, supportive sidekick for the messy, magical ride of parenting.
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Because raising tiny humans is hard work but with the right team (that’s us!), it gets a whole lot easier.
There is no better holiday than a beach holiday for keeping children entertained. Hours of playing in the sand, building castles, wading through waves and rockpools and enjoying the sunshine. But all of these activities pose some risks, so it’s better to arrive prepared. Here’s how to protect your loved ones from the sun.
The rise in the incidence of skin cancers over recent decades is strongly related to increasingly popular outdoor activities and recreational exposure. Overexposure to sunlight is widely accepted as the underlying cause for harmful effects on the skin, eye and immune system. Experts believe that four out of five cases of skin cancer could be prevented, as UV damage is mostly avoidable.
For starters, the best way to avoid sun exposure is simply to stay out of the sun at the times of the day when UV exposure is strongest (between 10am and 3pm). Rather head to the beach in the early morning or late afternoon. All exposed body parts should be covered liberally with a high SPF sunscreen and reapplied frequently. Sun-protective clothing, sunglasses and a hat are also strongly advised.
The other danger the sun carries is dehydration and heat exhaustion, or heatstroke.
Dehydration is caused by insufficient fluid intake coupled with increased losses due to sweating in the hot sun. It is imperative that each member of the family has their own water bottle and drinks from it frequently. Alcohol and coffee can also be dehydrating, so those are a no-no for the adults too.
Symptoms of heat exhaustion and heat stroke include confusion and dizziness, fatigue, headache, muscle cramps or weakness, nausea, excessive sweating (or lack of sweating), pale skin, swelling, rapid heartbeat and confusion. If you (or someone you’re with) display any of these symptoms, get out of the sun and heat, remove any unnecessary clothing, drink plenty of water, and take a cool (NOT icy) bath or shower. If symptoms are more severe — swelling, confusion, painful and blistering sunburns — it’s best to seek medical attention.
Hidden ‘treasures’ in the sand can be dangerous. Broken glass, cigarette butts, and pieces of tin and plastic can pose a risk, particularly with smaller children who like to put everything into their mouths. Make sure you check the area where you are sitting and sift through the sand before your child starts building sand castles. Keep a small first aid kit in your beach bag for cuts and scrapes. Explain to your little ones that they have to be on the lookout and call you if they find any objects besides seashells.
Closer to the water is also the hazard of washed-up sea creatures. Jellyfish and bluebottles may wash onto the shore and deliver a nasty sting if stepped on. Teach your children how to identify and avoid them. Vinegar usually works well to neutralise the sting, so consider keeping a sachet in your first aid kit.
It goes without saying that drowning is a major concern any time children are near a body of water. There are several ways to reduce the risk of a tragic water accident. Always swim in a designated area with lifeguards present. Even a child who seems relatively strong in a swimming pool could encounter difficulties in the ocean with the waves and the currents.
Rather than opting to watch your older child swim, get in with them. Put your children in brightly coloured swimsuits so that they are more visible in the water. Tell your children that they should never turn their backs on the ocean, as they may not spot a large wave coming to knock them over. Never swim in the dark, and never swim while intoxicated.
“Hidden ‘treasures’ in the sand can be dangerous. Broken glass, cigarette butts, and pieces of tin and plastic can pose a risk, particularly with smaller children who like to put everything into their mouths.”
It is every parent’s worst nightmare to lose their child. On crowded beaches with multiple visual and auditory distractions, this is easier than you might imagine. Try to have eyes on your children at all times (sorry, no napping or reading time for tired parents) and have a contingency plan in case your child should wander off. Again, dressing them in distinctive clothing makes them easier to spot. For younger children, write your phone number somewhere on them, and for older children, arrange a designated meeting spot.
Remember, each beach has different rules, restrictions and hazards. Be sure to check the signage and ask a lifeguard if you’re unsure.
Happy holidays!
Your school holidays watchlist on DStv Kids’ Club, from David to Zootropolis 2 + How To Train Your Dragon, Jurassic World: Rebirth, Smurfs & The …
Let’s be honest! Parenting isn’t all cuddles and cupcakes. It’s also chaos, coffee and Googling “is it normal if my toddler eats crayons?” at 2 a.m. That’s why we built a BabyYumYum Membership Subscription – your smart, supportive sidekick for the messy, magical ride of parenting.
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Neurodiversity is a word we are hearing more often, and for good reason. It describes the beautiful variation in the way human brains work and process the world. Some children are neurotypical, while others experience the world through lenses shaped by autism, ADHD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, or other neurodevelopmental differences. These are not “disorders” to be fixed, but ways of being that require understanding, support, and celebration.
At home, parents often ask: What can we actually do, day to day, to help our child thrive? The good news is that small, intentional changes in your home environment and routines can make a profound difference in a child’s wellbeing. As a paediatrician working closely with neurodivergent children and their families, I’ve seen how five simple shifts can create calmer homes, stronger relationships, and happier children.
For many neurodivergent children, the world feels unpredictable and overwhelming. Transitions, whether from school to home, play to bedtime, or weekdays to weekends, can spark anxiety or meltdowns.
Why it matters: A predictable routine reduces uncertainty and helps children feel safe. The brain thrives when it knows what to expect, and this is particularly important for children who struggle with flexibility.
How to do it:
Parents often tell me that once they introduced simple routine charts, the daily battles eased, and their children began to anticipate what came next. Consistency doesn’t mean rigidity (there should still room for spontaneity!) but predictability is a powerful anchor.
Our senses are the gateways through which we experience the world. For a neurodivergent child, those gateways may be wide open (hypersensitive) or under-responsive (hyposensitive). Bright lights, scratchy clothes, or background noise might feel unbearable, while some children may seek extra movement or pressure to feel calm.
Why it matters: When a child’s sensory needs are respected, they are better able to regulate emotions and engage in learning and play. When ignored, sensory overload can trigger meltdowns or withdrawal.
How to do it:
One family I work with placed a small pop-up tent in their living room. It became a calming retreat for their child- a place to reset when the world felt “too loud.” Such micro-adjustments can prevent overwhelm and restore harmony.
Language is powerful. Neurodivergent children may take words literally, struggle with processing speed, or find it hard to read non-verbal cues. Parents sometimes feel frustrated when instructions are ignored, but often the issue is in the delivery rather than defiance.
Why it matters: Communication that is clear, concrete, and compassionate helps children understand expectations, feel validated, and learn to express themselves.
How to do it:
This approach not only reduces conflict but also models emotional literacy – teaching children that feelings are real and manageable.
Too often, the focus with neurodivergent children is on what is “difficult”: the meltdowns, attention challenges, or academic struggles. While it’s natural to want to address obstacles, children blossom when their strengths and passions are noticed and celebrated.
Why it matters: Strength-based parenting boosts self-esteem, resilience, and motivation. It shifts the narrative from “something is wrong with you” to “you have so much to offer.”
How to do it:
I once worked with a boy who struggled academically but had an extraordinary memory for bus routes. His parents nurtured this passion, and it became a source of confidence, social connection, and eventually a career pathway. Every child has a spark- find it, feed it, and let it shine.
Parenting a neurodivergent child can feel exhausting at times. There are moments when behaviours – tantrums, hyperactivity, refusal – can push patience to its limits. But the most powerful tool parents have is not discipline, but connection.
Why it matters: When children feel connected, their nervous system calms, their trust deepens, and their capacity to learn and adapt grows. Correction without connection can feel like rejection, but correction within a secure relationship becomes guidance.
How to do it:
Families who prioritise connection often notice that challenging behaviours decrease- not because the child has been “disciplined into submission,” but because their emotional tank is fuller.
Neurodiversity reminds us that there is no one “normal” way to think, feel, or grow. Our homes can either amplify stress for a neurodivergent child or provide a sanctuary where they are understood and celebrated. The five changes described (predictable routines, sensory-friendly spaces, clear communication, strength-based parenting, and prioritising connection) are not expensive or complicated. They are small, intentional shifts that can transform family life. Parenting is not about perfection; it’s about presence. By tuning in to our children’s unique ways of experiencing the world, we don’t just help them cope- we help them thrive. And in the process, we discover the joy of seeing the world through their extraordinary eyes.
The first six weeks after birth can feel like the longest and fastest days of your life – full of love, exhaustion and constant learning. …
Let’s be honest! Parenting isn’t all cuddles and cupcakes. It’s also chaos, coffee and Googling “is it normal if my toddler eats crayons?” at 2AM. That’s why we built a BabyYumYum Premium Membership – your smart, supportive sidekick for the messy, magical ride of parenting.
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The cheer of Christmas is finally here. My daughters and I were hard at work recently. Setting up the Christmas tree is no light task and we each take it seriously because a great Christmas tree invites great Christmas presents from Santa. First, we added the golden Christmas baubles, then the cute red bows, followed by the champagne pinecorns. To add a pop in colour, we wound several coloured tinsels, which were used as fancy scarves at some point during that evening. The final touch was the silver star added to the top and switching on the fairy lights that adorned the tree. What a delightful sight it was once they were on. But wait….what about the presents?
Fear not! Here are some light-hearted yet practical tips to help you manage your money wisely during this joyful time of year, ensuring you can enjoy the festivities without the financial hangover in “Januworry”.
First things first: it’s crucial to make a budget. Sit down with your partner or family and outline all the categories you’ll be spending on – gifts, decorations, food and gatherings. Once you have a clear picture, allocate specific amounts for each category. Use a festive-themed notebook or a colourful app to track this budget. Remember, it’s not about stifling the fun but rather making sure you can enjoy the season without regretting it later! You can invite family and friends to bring and share to ensure you include everyone in the festivities, but it will also be friendlier on the pocket.
One of the things that makes Christmas phenomenal is the opportunity to shop and find some real quality gems. Before you walk into a store, establish a “fun fund” and limit your spending. This way, you can splurge a little without feeling guilty. You may find that having a small amount set aside makes the actual shopping more enjoyable, as you’re not constantly worried about going overboard!
Why not embrace your creative side? Handmade gifts can be more meaningful and often cost less. Consider baking cookies, crafting personalised photo albums, or preparing handmade Christmas cards for friends and family. Not only does it show you care, but it also saves money and adds a unique touch to your presents. Plus, think about the stories you’ll share when you gift something that comes straight from the heart!
With Black Friday leading into the holiday season, there are endless opportunities for sales. Make a list of the gifts you want to purchase and keep an eye out for discounts. Sign up for newsletters from your favourite stores to be the first to know about any sales or coupon codes. It’s a great way to snag a deal, and you can feel good about saving some bucks!
Instead of material gifts, consider giving experiences, and also seeking experiences to participate in that are cost-effective. Visiting Christmas wonderlands with streetlight decorations and festive activities can be a great hit. You can also consider buying loved ones tickets to a concert, a family outing, or even a gift certificate for a fun class can create lasting memories without cluttering anyone’s home with more stuff. Plus, experiences are often more cherished than things, as spending quality time with loved ones can make them an excellent choice for thoughtful gifts.
Lastly, consider setting aside a little for donations or charitable giving. The spirit of the season is not only about celebration but also about generosity. It can be as simple as rounding up your spending for groceries and donating the extra to a local charity, a registered non-profit organisation, or a public benefit organisation. Donations to qualifying organisations can be deducted from taxable income up to a maximum of 10%. This can provide a lovely unexpected rebate during tax season. Of your annual income, save a bit for unexpected festive expenses.
The festive season should be a time of joy, laughter, and connection. As much as we all love the twinkling lights, the gatherings with family and friends, and of course, the delicious treats, it’s easy to lose track of our finances amid all the excitement.
By applying these smart money management strategies, you can make the most of this wonderful time while ensuring your finances stay on track. Happy holidays!
Looking for stocking fillers that will light up your child’s face this Christmas? From creative crafts and classic games to fidget toys and festive LEGO …
Let’s be honest! Parenting isn’t all cuddles and cupcakes. It’s also chaos, coffee and Googling “is it normal if my toddler eats crayons?” at 2AM. That’s why we built a BabyYumYum Membership Subscription – your smart, supportive sidekick for the messy, magical ride of parenting.
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Travelling with a neurodivergent child takes a little extra forethought, but good planning can make the difference between a stressful experience and a memorable family adventure. The goal isn’t perfection, it’s preparation, patience and a flexible attitude. Below are some practical ideas to help make your next holiday smoother and more enjoyable for everyone.
It may feel like a mission, but a bit of planning goes a long way. Try to map out your days in advance and involve your child in the process. Talk about where you’re going, what you’ll be doing and what each day might look like. Encourage them to share what they’re excited or anxious about, and adjust plans where needed.
Many neurodivergent children feel calmer when they know what to expect. A visual daily schedule on a small whiteboard, notebook or tablet helps them see what’s coming next. Update it each morning or when plans change.
Think about your child’s sensory profile when selecting a holiday spot. Some children cope better with quieter environments and smaller crowds. When booking accommodation, ask for rooms in the most peaceful area of the hotel or resort if your child is noise-sensitive. Check for child-friendly facilities and whether on-site activities can be adapted for sensory comfort.
Include a few soothing or familiar items like a soft blanket, favourite soft toy or a small sensory object. These can anchor your child when everything else feels new. Don’t forget medication, comfort snacks and items that support any dietary or medical needs. Pack more than you think you’ll need in case of travel delays.
Fill a small backpack with novel, but calming activities for travel or downtime like a new colouring book, puzzle, fidget toy or small craft kit. You can also create a holiday treasure-hunt list, for example:
Free printable resources such as colouring pages, word searches and crosswords are available online. Try tailoring them to your trip’s theme (beach, bush or city). Take a look at 32 Christmas Colouring Pages – Free PDF Printables for Kids.
If your child constantly asks for snacks, pre-pack a daily snack bag with everything they’re allowed for that day. Give it to them in the morning and once it’s finished, it’s finished. This reduces food-related negotiations and builds independence.
Collaborate on a simple list of holiday expectations: how to treat accommodation respectfully, behaviour in restaurants or how to share public spaces. Write them down or use pictures. Rehearse or role-play any tricky social situations before you go.
Look up nearby sensory-friendly venues, therapists, or support networks at your destination. Having contacts in advance can reduce anxiety if unexpected needs arise.
Holidays with neurodivergent children rarely look like the brochure and that’s okay. Lowering expectations can actually help everyone relax and enjoy small wins instead of chasing the “perfect” break.
On arrival, scope out quiet spaces like a shady garden, library corner or balcony where your child can retreat and reset if they feel overwhelmed.
Where possible, maintain familiar rhythms such as mealtimes, bedtime stories or morning routines. If that’s not realistic, write down or show the new day’s structure visually so your child still feels anchored.
Weather, traffic, or crowds may alter your plans. Discuss possible changes ahead of time and show them on your visual schedule. Reassure your child that flexibility is part of the adventure, and that there will always be an alternative plan.
Busy days need quiet breaks. Schedule calm moments between activities for self-regulation like reading time, a swim or simply resting in the room.
You might have planned the beach, lunch, and a museum but if the day unravels, breathe and adapt. Sometimes the best memories come from unplanned moments.
Travelling with a neurodivergent child takes patience, but it’s absolutely possible to create joyful, inclusive holidays. Each child’s needs are unique, so let their sensory and emotional comfort guide your decisions. With planning, structure and flexibility, your family can make lasting memories – messy, imperfect and beautifully real.
References
Autism South Africa. (2023). Travel and community inclusion for autistic individuals: Family guide. Johannesburg: Autism SA.
British Psychological Society. (2022). Supporting neurodiverse children during transitions and travel. Leicester: BPS.
National Autistic Society. (2023). Holidays and days out. Retrieved March 10 2024
Raising Children Network. (2023). Travelling with autistic children. Government of Australia. Retrieved March 10 2024, from https://raisingchildren.net.au
The Neurodiversity Hub. (2022). Creating sensory-friendly environments for families on the move. Cape Town: The Neurodiversity Hub Press.
Every child, regardless of neurotype, thrives when they feel loved and valued. However, neurodivergent children, such as those with autism, ADHD, or sensory sensitivities, may …
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Happiness is a choice, so you can be jolly at Christmas if you want to. You are pregnant, not sick. Let’s make this festive season one to remember and dread and spoil it for all who are around you. For starters, kick off those heels and get the most comfortable shoes to get you through the heat and swollen feet.
Your body is your barometer as to how far you can take it when it comes to festivities around this season, but there are some tips we can give you to help you make the most of this time of year.
If your baby is already out by the time you’re all gathering around the tree, try to minimise overstimulation of your newborn. People may have more time to visit and may genuinely believe they will make your life easier by bringing the party to you, so don’t be afraid to set your boundaries.
“Your body is your barometer as to how far you can take it when it comes to festivities around this season.”
Your baby won’t have developed a good immune system yet, so you are well within your mommy rights to choose who may visit, and when, and who may handle your baby.
ALSO READ: 10 best pregnancy non-alcoholic drinks in South Africa + FAQs
Absolutely! With a few adjustments, you can still take part in the celebrations, enjoy your favourite foods and soak up the festive spirit. It’s all about pacing yourself, staying hydrated, and knowing your limits.
Pregnancy can make you tire more easily, so listen to your body. Prioritise rest, take short naps when needed and don’t feel pressured to attend every event. Say yes to comfort and no to guilt as your health comes first.
Yes, but take precautions. Avoid overcrowded or poorly ventilated areas, especially during flu season. Keep sanitiser handy, and if you feel unwell or fatigued, don’t hesitate to step away or head home early.
Of course! Just be mindful of food safety. Avoid raw fish, unpasteurised cheese, cold deli meats, and undercooked meat. Choose freshly cooked meals and keep an eye on portion sizes to avoid indigestion.
Try mocktails, sparkling water with fruit or iced herbal teas. Many South African restaurants and hosts now offer delicious alcohol-free alternatives that are festive and refreshing.
Since South Africa’s festive season falls in summer, stay cool with light clothing, plenty of fluids and foot elevation when resting. Swimming or gentle water exercises can also help reduce swelling.
Get your partner involved in planning, decorating, and even prepping healthy festive dishes. This helps share the workload and strengthens your bond before the baby arrives.
Enjoy quiet family picnics, festive movie nights or pamper sessions instead of loud parties. Creating calm, meaningful memories will feel more special than overcommitting to every social invitation.
Travel is usually fine in the second trimester, but always check with your doctor before long trips. Wear comfy clothes, take regular breaks to stretch, and carry your antenatal records and medical contacts with you.
It’s normal to feel a little out of place when everyone’s having champagne. Focus on the connection, not the cocktails– bring your favourite mocktail, dress up and remember that this festive season is uniquely memorable.
If you feel comfortable and your health allows, go ahead, but plan your exits. Let colleagues know you might leave early and prioritise your comfort over social expectations.
Set realistic expectations, delegate tasks, and schedule downtime. Practising mindfulness, journaling, or simply spending quiet moments with loved ones can help keep your festive season joyful and stress-free.
Disclaimer: This information is for general guidance and does not replace professional medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider before making decisions about travel, diet, or activity during pregnancy.
ALSO READ: Pregnant and Anxious? 7 Calming Tips Every Mom-to-Be Needs
At 5 weeks pregnant, your baby is growing rapidly. Discover what to expect, symptoms you might experience, and how to care for yourself during early …
Let’s be honest! Parenting isn’t all cuddles and cupcakes. It’s also chaos, coffee and Googling “is it normal if my toddler eats crayons?” at 2 a.m. That’s why we built a BabyYumYum Membership Subscription – your smart, supportive sidekick for the messy, magical ride of parenting.
When you join, you unlock:
🚀 Expert advice without the boring bits
💡 Real stories, real laughs, real connection
📘 Downloads, checklists & life-saving parenting tips
💝 Exclusive discounts and benefits for you and your family
Because raising tiny humans is hard work but with the right team (that’s us!), it gets a whole lot easier.
“On the day our baby was stillborn, we had to say hello and goodbye to her on the same day. It was especially hard as it happened just before Christmas. People think of Christmas as being a magical, loving time, but after our baby’s death, it was anything but that, and I didn’t feel ‘festive’ at all,” says Penelope, mother of Chris, stillborn at 40 weeks.
You may feel that you will not be able to get through the holidays because you had to say goodbye to your baby, but remember that the very traditions of the holidays can help you endure them. Try partaking in a few of your normal holiday traditions while still incorporating and acknowledging your grief.
When you put up Christmas lights, or you light a candle, for instance, do it in honour of your baby. You don’t necessarily have to make this fact known, but it may help you handle these small tasks that are so familiar with the festive season.
Even when you sing songs, and it brings a lump to your throat, allow yourself to feel the emotion inside of you.
You may not want to do anything at all, and that is understandable, but it doesn’t need to be an all-or-nothing situation. If you feel that you can only cope with some of the traditions of the holiday season, scale down and only incorporate the ones that are most important to you in your rituals.
Sarah (mother to Clifton, who was stillborn at 34 weeks) says, “Mike and I made a list of the most important family traditions, and we narrowed it down by marking those that we felt were indispensable. We only did those, and it really helped!”
This helps you create a ‘middle ground’ by affording you the opportunity to grieve, while still holding onto traditions that are dear to you and your partner. Again, you don’t have to discuss this ‘deal’ you made with yourselves; it’s totally up to you.
Sarah says, “We were very nervous about making it through the holiday season without Clifton, so we ‘rewarded’ ourselves with a mini-breakaway after the holidays to help alleviate some of the stress. Having something to look forward to gave us the strength we needed to get through the festive season.”
Communicate your feelings regarding the holidays with friends and family. Nicky is the mother of Oliver, who was stillborn at 38 weeks. She says, “I think it’s my family that scares me the most at this time … scared of how they will treat me, will they say anything, or won’t they?
“And how will I handle it if they do? More so, how will I deal with it if they don’t say anything and then I think that they’ve forgotten our little boy? I am just so nervous about this whole situation!”
Your loved one might not know how to talk about your baby loss and the holidays. Sarah says, “If you don’t communicate your wishes, e.g. ‘I do not wish to celebrate Christmas at all this year’ or ‘Please can we just carry on with our holiday season celebrations the way we used to’, you can’t expect the people around you to know what your feelings are.
“Reach out to them and tell them how you feel so that they know it’s okay to raise the subject with you.” Although this may be hard for you to do, it will be even harder to deal with your emotions if they react in a way that hurts your feelings or even offends you.
“My best friend bought us a beautiful tree that we planted in honour of Chris. This was such a meaningful way to remember and celebrate him!”
Also, remember that sometimes well-intended but misinformed friends will hurt you unknowingly with their words, but try not to let it get to you. They honestly mean well, they just don’t know what to say.
A lot of times, parents choose to be alone during the holidays because of this fear, and that is fine. Just keep in mind that you also need to embrace the love and support of family and loved ones to help you heal, no matter whether they put their foot in it or not!
Your whole experience of the festive season itself has changed forever simply because of the loss that you have suffered. Penelope explains, “I went from getting a lot of pleasure from preparing for the holidays to absolutely dreading them.
“I used to be the family’s main holiday chef, and after Chris’s death, I could hardly eat, let alone prepare food for others.”
It may not be the same this festive season, simply because you are not the same person anymore. It is not your fault, and it is not because you are doing something wrong. It is a loss, and it’s going to transform your life experiences, and it is inevitable.
The festive season is hard because it forces us to confront our pain and sadness. You are allowed to mourn, but you are also allowed to get well again.
Believe in our wonderful ability to heal and evolve through the grief and mourning process. Even if it seems that your pain will never get better, acknowledge that there is room for it to change and focus on all the positive things in life.
ALSO READ: The dos and don’ts of supporting women after a miscarriage
As a practical exercise, you can write a letter to yourself about your hopes and aspirations for the next holiday season and store it with your holiday decorations. You can even start a gratitude journal to help with emotional healing. Make a conscious decision that your next festive season will be different in a good way!
“The festive season is horrible for us. I wish you could tell us that you are thinking about our child on these days, and if we get quiet and withdrawn, just know that we are thinking about our child too – and it breaks our hearts,” says Cathy, who lost her baby Chloë at 40 weeks.
The festive season will be a time of mixed emotions. Managing the grief of losing your child while everyone around you is celebrating the season can be a real challenge and may seem terribly unfair to you.
Accept that your grief is normal and reasonable and allow yourself to feel anger, regret and sadness, but also feel joy and happiness. Only attend events where you feel comfortable. If you feel it is too difficult to join in on the day, do not force yourself; the most important thing to remember is that it’s okay to say no and excuse yourself.
However, don’t presume that the festive season is going to be horrible. You have just said hello and goodbye to your baby, and of course, you will be sad and mourn your loss. Allow yourself to also have moments of happiness and hope, to also give you a sense of your life’s purpose.
Helen Keller once said, “The only way to the other side is through.” Sometimes this is the only way to cope with the festive season when you have to say goodbye to your baby.
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Is it normal to masturbate even if you’re in a relationship? Will masturbating make me go blind? These are just some of the ‘solo’ sex-related questions people regularly ask.
No matter what stories you were told about masturbation growing up, I can assure you that they aren’t true. Masturbation will not lead to you becoming infertile or blind. It is not only for those with a penis.
And it certainly won’t mean anything about you as a person if you masturbate while in a relationship. Masturbation or ‘solo sex’ is actually a very healthy and normal part of our sexuality as human beings, and it’s a completely normal sexual activity that people engage in whether they are in a relationship or not.
Masturbation is a big part of our sex lives and is generally the first sexual experience that most of us have, whether in our teens or early adulthood.
We can learn through masturbation how our body responds to certain touches and pleasure, and what we like and don’t like. ‘Solo sex’ teaches us a great deal about our sexual style (perhaps hard and fast, or initially quick and gentle) and offers us an avenue to enjoy sexual pleasures with or without a partner.
It’s not true that only single people masturbate; couples do it too, either alone or together, and it can be a very sexy and enjoyable experience to see your partner touching themselves. The key in a relationship, like most things in life, is communication.
Unfortunately, the way our ideas are constructed around this has a lot to do with the messages we received when growing up. These messages were often rather negative and certainly lacked permission to explore pleasure, especially for women.
What this results in is that many people struggle with the thought of or engaging with pleasure alone, and hold a lot of shame and discomfort around the act.
But pleasure isn’t something that just happens… we actually need to explore, be curious and figure out what it is that we like sexually. Pleasure is a learnt response!
If we’re going to be able to communicate to a partner what we like and have the best sex we can have, then we need to actually know what we like.
Studies show that masturbation rates actually decrease when people partner up. This makes sense because our sexual needs and desires are probably being met by our partner, so we feel less of a need to engage in solo sex.
However, research has also shown us that people experience more distress and think their partner is dissatisfied sexually by knowing their partner uses explicit sexual material, like porn, than they do when their partner masturbates.
Solo sex and partnered sex are two different types of sex, and neither is better than the other… they are just different. There are hundreds of reasons why we have sex, and sometimes masturbation is the quickest and easiest way to meet your sexual need, especially if your partner is not around or isn’t in the mood. It’s also far more of a physical experience.
Partnered sex is intimacy in all forms: physical, emotional and even spiritual. The connection we hopefully get when we have sex with someone is something that can’t be taken for granted or compared to masturbation.
If you know for sure what you like when you touch yourself, it’s not only much easier to tell your partner what you want in bed, but it’s also easier to get the pleasure that you want from sex!
Masturbation is a very normal and natural part of adult life, and talking about it with your partner will open the door for more sexual pleasure and experiences. And if that doesn’t convince you, regular masturbation helps build stamina and leads to more powerful and prolonged orgasms.
Breastfeeding with Dad means sharing the load and building intimacy. Explore simple ways fathers can help mums and bond with their baby.
Let’s be honest! Parenting isn’t all cuddles and cupcakes. It’s also chaos, coffee and Googling “is it normal if my toddler eats crayons?” at 2AM. That’s why we built a BabyYumYum Membership Subscription – your smart, supportive sidekick for the messy, magical ride of parenting.
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South African parents are living through a historic moment. The Constitutional Court has changed the rules of parental leave in a way that finally recognises that families come in many forms and that caregiving should not be limited by gender or biology.
In the judgment of Van Wyk and Others v Minister of Employment and Labour[2025] ZACC 20, the Constitutional Court found that previous parental-leave laws were unfair, unequal, and out of touch with real family life. The Court found the laws to be discriminatory and reinforced outdated gender roles.
For many parents, especially fathers, adoptive parents, same-sex couples, and parents using surrogacy, this decision marks the beginning of a more inclusive and supportive parenting experience.
As a mediator and the Director of Fair Practice™ Mediation Services, I have spoken to countless parents who have felt overlooked, excluded, or unsupported by the old system. This article breaks down what the new ruling means in simple, practical terms, and why mediation will play a crucial role in helping families adjust.
Before this case, South Africa’s labour laws gave:
The result? Fathers felt sidelined. Adoptive parents felt undervalued. Same-sex parents were confused about their rights. And children adopted at older ages, who often need the most support, were completely excluded.
The law, as it stood, sent a message that only birth mothers are “real” caregivers. This did not match real life. Many families share caregiving equally. Some fathers are stay-at-home parents. Many mothers run businesses or earn more than their partners. Some families grow through adoption or surrogacy. These laws did not see them as persons with parental responsibilities.
The Constitutional Court did, in this judgment of Van Wyk and Others v Minister of Employment and Labour[2025] ZACC 20.
To fix the unfairness, the Court introduced a new, temporary system while Parliament works on rewriting the law.
Here’s what now applies:
This brings in a big change to autonomy in the decision-making of shared parental leave. It means parents can decide:
* One parent takes all the leave, OR
* They divide the leave, OR
* They take some of it at the same time (concurrently), OR
* They alternate — for example: mum takes two months and 5 days, dad takes two months and 5 days, etc.
Parents now truly have a choice, not a rigid rule forced on them.
While the ruling is wonderful in principle, in practice, many parents will face new complications, including:
For married or co-operative couples, this is easy.
But what about:
* Divorced parents?
* Parents who recently broke up?
* Parents in conflict?
* Parents in abusive or controlling relationships?
If the parents cannot agree, the Court submits that leave should be divided as close to 50/50 as possible. Disagreement is now almost guaranteed without intervention to understand how best to divide the days.
The Court did not rewrite the UIF Act, which means many parents may not get financial support during leave. At least not immediately. This is a major concern for lower-income families.
Many human resource departments will not know how to apply the new system, and workplaces may struggle to manage:
* Two parents at two separate companies
* Shared leave schedules
* Requests for concurrent leave
They get more leave, but not necessarily more income support.
At Fair Practice™, we see the real-life side of legal change, and the truth is: shared leave is going to cause dispute. Especially among parents who are separated, co-parenting reluctantly, or already in conflict.
This is where mediation becomes essential.
A trained mediator provides a neutral, safe space for parents to discuss:
* How leave should be shared
* What works best for the child
* Work schedules and financial realities
* Overnight care, feeding, bonding time
This reduces stress and prevents resentment, and could help to solve other problems before they occur.
Children suffer when parents fight, and mediation keeps conversations respectful, constructive and focused on what is best for the child.
This ruling can be exploited in cases of:
* Financial control
* Emotional manipulation
* Coercive behaviour
Mediators ensure fairness in participation throughout the mediated process.
Many separated parents may not have a co-parenting plan yet, which sets out their responsibilities and rights. Shared leave forces them to create one, and mediation helps them do that in a structured, realistic and practical way.
Workplace mediation helps companies and employees develop parental policies that are lawful, compassionate and easy to manage.
This judgment is a long-overdue step toward equality and recognition of current-day families. It acknowledges that love, caregiving and responsibility are not defined by biological motherhood alone. But change, even good change, can be messy. Parents now need guidance, clarity and support to navigate shared leave without harming their children or their co-parenting relationship.
That is why Fair Practice™ Mediation Services help parents transform conflict into cooperation and confusion into clear plans. We believe that parenting should never be a battlefield and parental leave should bring families closer, instead of pulling them apart.
©Veerash Srikison – Fair Practice™
Claiming UIF on Maternity Leave in 2026 helps protect income during time off with a new baby.
Let’s be honest! Parenting isn’t all cuddles and cupcakes. It’s also chaos, coffee and Googling “is it normal if my toddler eats crayons?” at 2AM. That’s why we built a BabyYumYum Membership Subscription – your smart, supportive sidekick for the messy, magical ride of parenting.
When you join, you unlock:
🚀 Expert advice without the boring bits
💡 Real stories, real laughs, real connection
📘 Downloads, checklists & life-saving parenting tips
💝 Exclusive discounts and benefits for you and your family
Because raising tiny humans is hard work but with the right team (that’s us!), it gets a whole lot easier.
It’s holiday time and that means many of us are getting ready to hit the road! Whether you’re visiting family or friends or hoping for a bit of well-deserved rest, long car trips often come with a fair amount of preparation and planning. For families with neurodivergent children, those road trips can bring extra layers of challenge, from sensory overload and anxiety to struggles with sitting still for long periods.
However, with a bit of thoughtful planning and understanding, car journeys can become far less stressful for everyone. Below are seven practical, evidence-based tips to help make your family road trips smoother, calmer, and more inclusive.
Let your child know well in advance about the journey: how long it will take, what kind of stops you’ll make, what you’ll do when you get there, and what the expectations are in the car. Minimising surprises helps ease anxiety and supports children who may struggle with change or unpredictability.
Use a visual schedule or countdown calendar if that works for your child, for example: leaving home → 2-hour drive → stop for a stretch → 1 hour to destination. Visual supports like these help children map out what is coming and reduce the “unknown”. If possible, preview the route and stops together. That builds familiarity and gives your child some sense of control and predictability.
Sitting for long periods is hard for many children, especially if they have sensory, attention or motor needs. Build in regular rest stops (for example, every 60–90 minutes) where your child can get out, stretch legs, run around a bit and release energy. At the rest stop, allow your child to engage in a preferred movement-based activity. That helps reduce the build-up of stress or meltdowns later in the car.
Once you’re on the road, ongoing communication makes a huge difference. Children often find comfort in knowing what’s happening right now and what’s coming next. Try giving short, clear updates like “We’ll stop for lunch in 10 minutes” or “After this town, there’s just one more hour to go.”
If your child responds well to visual cues, use a small whiteboard, laminated schedule, or app to show progress, for example, move a marker along a line that represents the trip. This visual reassurance helps reduce anxiety about time and transitions.
For children who use alternative communication (AAC devices, sign language, or picture cards), ensure these tools are accessible in the car. Being able to express discomfort or make simple choices (like choosing music or a snack) can greatly reduce frustration.
Familiar items can bring a sense of security. Bring along your child’s favourite blanket, stuffed toy or sensory-friendly object from home.
Sensory factors in the car are often underestimated. Loud traffic, engine noise, sudden acceleration/braking or strong sunlight, glare can trigger discomfort, stress or meltdown for neurodivergent children.
Consider:
If your child experiences strong sensory responses, you might even plan a “sensory warm-up” before the drive: for example, allow them to run around, jump, or engage in heavy-work (deep pressure) activity to regulate their system before sitting in the car.
Food and hydration often make a big difference in behaviour and mood. Pack a variety of snacks your child enjoys and consider giving them individual portions (to limit mess or overwhelm).In terms of entertainment: Pre-load a tablet with favourite shows/games, bring audiobooks, music playlists, books or interactive games. Changing activity every so often helps maintain interest. However, ensure activities are safe in the car: soft items, things that won’t become projectiles in a sudden stop. Choose toys with minimal risk if the child tends to move a lot.
Safety is non-negotiable, especially when your child may resist seatbelts, harnesses or car seats. The bigger challenge often lies in how to support safety when the child is unable or unwilling to become seated easily.
Some practical steps:
Even with the best planning, things may not go perfectly, and that’s okay. Your child is unique, and the goal is to make journeys better over time, not “perfect”. If things go off plan (traffic jam, long delay, tired child), allow for flexibility, maybe stop for a different snack, shorten the drive time, or let your child choose the music. Giving them some autonomy supports co-regulation and co-operation!
Celebrate the wins: buckling up smoothly, staying engaged in an activity for 20 minutes, making it through a rest stop – these are all steps forward. Recognising those builds confidence for both the child and your family.
Remember…
Every journey is also an opportunity: to strengthen your child’s understanding of change and transitions, to practice safety skills, to build their confidence in new environments and to share memorable family time.
References
If your neurodivergent child—whether they have ADHD, autism, or learning difficulties—is struggling in school, it’s important to know their rights. South Africa has policies in …