4 ways moms can actually have a break over the holidays. The festive season is often filled with joy, but it can also be a stressful time for moms. Between shopping, cooking, and keeping everything running smoothly, it can feel like there’s no time left for yourself. But you deserve a break, and there are simple ways to carve out some downtime. In this post, we’ll explore four easy ways you can relax and recharge over the holidays, without feeling guilty or overwhelmed.
With the holidays upon us, it’s time for the entire family to bond, spend time together, and catch up on much-needed rest and relaxation.
But the unfortunate fact is that despite the many strides that have been made towards equality between men and women, moms overwhelmingly still carry the heaviest load when it comes to looking after the family. During the holidays, little ones need to be entertained, family and social engagements fill up the diary, and there may be a trip to plan, thus leaving moms in need of a holiday after the holiday.
With that in mind, here are a few tips on how moms can actually enjoy some rest these holidays and finally break that one evergreen festive season tradition: holiday stress.
- It’s a family affair
One of the most important realisations that mom must make to allow herself to also enjoy her holiday is that it’s not all her job. Thanks to expectations that society places on mothers, and in turn mothers place on themselves, far too many mothers take on just about all holiday responsibilities. Far more than anything else, this is what leads to holiday stress.In realising that holidays are a “family affair”, what we mean is that responsibilities should be shared. Dad can certainly pitch in, but so can the kids. If extended family or friends are coming to visit, whether for a period of time or even just for a braai or Christmas lunch, allow them to help. It doesn’t all have to fall on mom.
- Make use of Santa’s helpers
There are so many options and services out there to help us to make our holidays easier, so be sure to make use of “Santa’s helpers”. For instance, for those of us who are lucky enough to have a regular domestic cleaner, it can be difficult if they are away over the festive season. This is where Santa’s helper, like SweepSouth, can help. Through its app and website, SweepSouth allows you to hire ad hoc cleaners for the day or even longer with as little as 24 hours’ notice. You just choose your tasks and your SweepStar will arrive on the day to take care of everything for you for the required hours. - Stick to a budget
Like any time of the year, but particularly the heavily commercialised festive season, one of the biggest stress-inducers when it comes to the holidays is money. To ensure that this stress is minimised as far possible, prepare a budget of what you are willing to spend over the holidays. Note, unlike other budgets, this budget isn’t prioritising what is needed but rather what you are willing or want to do.This also lines up with the “family affair” advice. As this is advice to ensure that expectations are kept in reality, be sure to include the rest of the family in this process. Not only will this keep expectations in check, but it will also allow for a little bit of wish fulfilment.
- Me-time
Allow some me-time for yourself. Going back to societal expectations, a mother prioritising herself is quickly branded as selfish. However, a mom who’s exhausted from the year’s stresses and hasn’t even taken a moment for herself over a time when rest and relaxation is meant to be what’s most important, is headed for burnout.
Whether it’s just an afternoon spent alone at a spa or treating yourself to a lazy Saturday brunch with friends at a location with an amazing view like Cape Town’s Radisson Blu Hotel Waterfront, taking even just a few hours for yourself can do wonders.
So, this festive season, make your resolution before the new year: don’t try to do it all, lean on others, and take a break where you can.
ALSO CHECK OUT: 7 steps to mental health during motherhood
FAQs: Ways Moms Can Actually Have a Break Over the Holiday
Why is it so hard for mums to take a break during the holidays?
Because many mums feel responsible for keeping everyone happy, fed and entertained, especially during school breaks and festive periods. The emotional and physical load can become overwhelming without support.
Is it selfish to want a break as a mum?
Not at all. Taking a break is essential for your mental health and overall wellbeing. Rested mums are more patient, present and able to enjoy time with their families.
How can I ask for help without feeling guilty?
Be honest and direct. Let your partner, family, or friends know what you need. Sharing the load isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a healthy, responsible choice.
What are some simple ways to get daily downtime?
- Set boundaries for quiet time or screen time
- Wake up 30 minutes earlier for alone time
- Swap childcare with a friend or neighbour
- Schedule your own breaks, not just everyone else’s
Can I have a break without spending money?
Yes! Enjoy:
- A solo walk in the garden or around the block
- Reading with a cup of tea while the kids nap or play
- A long bath with the door locked
- Journalling, colouring, or resting in silence
How do I manage expectations from extended family?
Communicate clearly. Let them know what you can and can’t commit to this year. It’s okay to say no to over-scheduling, hosting duties or unrealistic traditions.
Are there ways to include the kids but still feel rested?
Yes. Plan low-effort, high-reward activities like movie afternoons, quiet crafting or baking with ready-made dough. These allow connection without exhaustion.
What if I’m a single mum with no backup?
It’s especially important to build a support network. Reach out to local community centres, parenting groups, or faith-based organisations that offer holiday clubs or respite support.
How can my partner support me better during the holidays?
Encourage open conversations about your needs. Ask them to take over bedtime routines, errands or give you a morning or evening off. Be specific and clear in your requests.
How do I stop feeling like I have to do everything?
Remind yourself: rest is productive. Delegate what you can, and let go of perfection. Focus on what really matters – time together, not a perfectly curated holiday.
What if I feel burned out already?
That’s a sign to pause and prioritise self-care. Even 15 minutes a day can make a difference. If you’re feeling low or anxious, speak to your GP or reach out to a support line like SADAG (0800 456 789).
What’s one small thing I can do today to recharge?
Choose something that feels like a treat just for you, whether that’s a quiet coffee, ten minutes of fresh air, or saying no to one thing that drains you. Small steps lead to meaningful rest.
Disclaimer: This content is for general wellbeing support and does not replace professional medical or mental health advice. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or struggling, please contact a healthcare provider or mental health organisation for help.
These tips to help moms stay present will bring more calm, connection and clarity to your daily parenting journey—without adding to your to-do list.
