Vuyiswa Nyauza opens up about raising four daughters, losing her husband, and joining The Mommy Club

The 40-year-old, Vuyiswa “Vuyi” Nyauza believes that sharing her story is an essential part of her emotional recovery. In addition to her personal journey, she is a successful businesswoman in the hair industry, empowering women to look and feel their best.

Motherhood is central to Vuyi’s life, and she works hard to provide love, stability, and emotional support to her daughters, navigating their different personalities and needs with consistent communication and daily rituals.

She shares with Goodwill Thomo her journey through motherhood, managing her successful business, and coping with the loss of her husband.

What inspired you to become a full-time cast member on The Mommy Club after your initial appearance in Season 2?

When they approached me, I was still going through the loss of my husband, and the kids, especially Aisha, were not doing well. So, I had to sit down with them and talk about it. I was particularly concerned about my older daughter, but she said, “No, Mom, do it.” For me, it felt like a good distraction at that point. When I spoke to them, they were so supportive and happy about it. That’s what mattered most to me — that they were willing and excited. That’s the reason I joined The Mommy Club.

Growing up in Heidelberg, you were involved in your family’s entrepreneurial activities from a young age. How did those experiences shape your business acumen?

Being exposed to business at a young age taught me how to be sustainable. I had a firsthand view of how a business functions, which gave me a unique perspective. That exposure helped me develop a deep understanding of financial literacy, customer needs, and the various business operations — all of which have contributed greatly to how I run my own business today.

 What drives your passion for the hair industry?

I’m a girl’s girl — I love beauty. I’ve always been the kind of person who enjoys making other women look good. That alone was enough motivation for me to get into this industry and pursue something I truly love and am passionate about.

 How have you been coping with the loss of your husband?

I’ve been taking care of myself by going to therapy, and I’ll continue to go when I feel the need. When I feel down, I talk to my mom, as she’s the one person who truly understands. I also visit my doctor when the pain becomes unbearable, when I can’t sleep, or when my thoughts are overwhelming.

How are your kids doing?

They are doing okay, and things are getting better. It’s a process, and while the pain stays with us, it becomes easier to cope with over time. Aisha is still in therapy, which I won’t stop until she feels ready. She really enjoys it and looks forward to it every week. She especially loves drawing and conversations with her therapist. Sometimes, though, it hits her hard, and when it does, we cry together. She tells me when she’s missing daddy, and we laugh afterwards, which helps us cope. It’s a relief that she can talk about her dad now, even making jokes that he used to make.

How do you keep your husband’s memory alive for your children?

We keep his memory alive by having his pictures in the house and continuing to do the things he loved doing with us as a family.

How do you manage the responsibilities of being a mother of four and running a business in the hair industry?

I have people who assist me with all my businesses — I’m not doing it alone. I’ve got really great help, both in business and at home, which makes it easier to juggle everything. So, at the moment, I wouldn’t say there’s anything particularly challenging for me.

You’ve mentioned that sharing your story helps in healing. How has this openness impacted your grieving process?

To be honest, opening up has made it easier to heal and cope with the loss. I’ve acknowledged it and allowed myself to express it. I also learned that suppressing it wouldn’t help. Having a strong, solid support system has helped me a lot.

 What strategies have you found most effective in helping your children cope with the loss of their father?

I’m a sanctuary for my kids’ emotions, and I mostly follow their lead. I encourage them to express their feelings, and I listen. I don’t hide my own sadness, which helps all of us. We also go to therapy and find great value in how it impacts us.

What do you hope other moms will take away from your story, and what have you learned about yourself since losing your husband?

I hope other moms learn that there’s life after death and that it’s important to step up, be present for your kids and family, take care of yourself, and be compassionate, kind, and give grace.

What have you learned about yourself since losing your husband?

I’ve learned that God has tested me in many ways, but I continue to rise. I’ve discovered just how strong I am, as the pain I’ve experienced would have broken many others. I thank God for giving me resilience and strength. I’ve also realised the power I hold within, how beautiful I am inside and out, and how kind I can be. I’ve learned not to judge others, always to respect people, and to help whenever I can. I have learned so much.

How has the reception been since joining The Mommy Club?

It’s been good, but I’ve noticed that one minute the public loves you, and the next, they don’t. Reactions change every week, so I don’t take them too seriously. People judge what they see, but they don’t know the real person or the full story, so I don’t find that too challenging. What was a bit strenuous, though, was shooting the actual season, especially the long hours. I enjoyed every moment of it, even though I love my sleep! I kept dozing off during diary sessions and had to be woken up, but besides that, it was amazing, and I enjoyed it.

What do you hope viewers take away from your story on the show?

I hope people take away a sense of resilience, love for family, authenticity, and the importance of standing in their truth. It’s okay to be a certain way, to make mistakes, and to learn from them. No one else can define you — that power belongs to you. I also hope people learn to be kind and not judge others. That’s what I tried to show. I know I’ve been called names, but you can’t focus on that and expect to stay stuck there.

Where do you see yourself and your business in the next five years?

I see myself thriving, and I see my business continuing to grow. Of course, anything can happen — one mistake can change everything — but I’ve entrusted it all to God. Right now, everything is going great, and I want to keep that positive energy. I’m very spiritual, so if I do make a mistake or hurt someone and God chooses to correct me, I accept that it will come from Him. I’ve been focused on this for the past 13 years and, aside from some challenges during COVID, I’ve never really struggled. Even then, I didn’t stop, and by God’s grace, I didn’t fall.

You’re raising four daughters — what has that experience been like? Have you faced any challenges, and what are some of the joys you’ve experienced in motherhood?

Raising four daughters is a challenge on its own. You must deal with different personalities and characters, so it hasn’t always been easy — especially with my youngest, who’s very feisty and still teaches me a lot. But the rest of my kids are quite soft-natured, and they make things easier for me. I’d say I’m a consistent mother; there’s stability in our routine. I regularly check in on their behaviour, and we have daily conversations, which help me understand their mental and emotional state. It’s about being present and ensuring they get along. Of course, sisters fight, but they know the importance of respecting one another, choosing their words wisely, and maintaining that sisterly bond.

Do you have a personal mantra or motto that guides you through difficult times?

In the face of adversity, I remind myself to embrace the opportunity for growth and learning. As a resilient woman, I believe that tough times never last, but tough people do. So, persevere, it is.

How do you encourage confidence and self-love in your daughters?

I validate my kids daily and encourage them to embrace their uniqueness. For example, one of my daughters doesn’t have a big bum, and she used to joke about it with her dad, who also didn’t have one. We laughed about these things and made light of them. Personally, I embrace everything about myself that God has created, and I teach my kids to do the same. I always remind them not to let anyone’s negative comments break them down. If someone tries to use something against you, stand strong and remember that’s how you were created, and you can’t change it. I tell my kids they are beautiful, capable, and doing amazing, even if they struggle at school. I encourage them to keep trying, and if needed, I’ll help them with extra classes or tutors. I want them to believe they can achieve anything and pass that confidence on to their own children one day.

As a mother raising four daughters, what’s one traditional ritual you’ve created to keep your bond strong?

I’m not sure if it’s a ritual or tradition, but what we do is hug each other whenever I pick them up. The first thing we do is hug. Even my old daughter, who’s 21, does the same when she sees me or comes home from school. We also sit down for dinner every night — we pray, eat, and take a moment to remember our father, as it was something we all loved doing together. I’m not sure if it’s a ritual or a tradition, but it’s something that keeps us close.