20 hilarious parenting tweets!

• Emily (@emilykmay) shared the struggle of following through on a boundary she set for her child: “hands down the worst part of parenting is when you have to follow through on a boundary you set 😭 like ok, I didn’t want to actually leave the pool and now I have to be a woman of my word!”
• Lurkin’ Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) humorously described her 8-year-old’s newfound interest in planning: “My 8yo has somehow acquired a day planner. This isn’t going to end well. 8yo: Mom, can we go to McDonald’s on August 24th? Me: ummm…I don’t know, maybe? 8yo: clicks pen”
• Lee Gatlin (@neilaglet) received an email from her 5-year-old’s teacher about a “kiss game” on the playground: “got an email from 5yo’s teacher that the kids are playing a ‘kiss game’ on the playground at school but it’s not lip kissing, it’s the band KISS so if they talk about the “kiss game” that’s what it is.”
• Amil (@amil) pondered what babies think after waking up from a nap: “you think every time a baby wakes up from a nap they’re like, ‘what the heck has happened to everyone and everything I know?!?’”
• Ely Kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) hilariously recalled her daughter’s iPad complaint: “my kid was upset because I took away her iPad and she was like ‘ugh! I bet when you were a kid, grandma let you have your iPad!’ and I was like…bitch. grandma didn’t even let me have my FEELINGS.”
• Mom (@themultiplemom) shared her son’s brutally honest review of her PB&J sandwich: “I made my 7yo son a pb&j. I asked how was it. He gone say :‘dry but you tried’.”
• My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) recounted the aftermath of taking his kid to “Bring Your Child To Work Day”: “Took my kid to ‘Bring Your Child To Work Day’ a few weeks ago and now, any time I ask her how she’s doing, she says ‘Living the dream’.”
• Meghan (@deloisivete) reflected on the hospital bill after her child’s birth: “Sometimes I still think about how after my first kid was born, in addition to the bill, we got a letter from the hospital suggesting we donate $500 as a thank you.”
• I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) pointed out the irony of screen time recommendations: “Research: Kids are having too much screen time. School: Let’s put everything online.” 
• Katie D (@KatieDeal99) found common ground with her daughter’s dinner preference: “I finally found something that my daughter and I would both like to eat for dinner. It’s cake, but still.”
• Mommy Needs Vodka (@mommyneeds_vodka) shared her thoughts on parenting: “Parenting is basically just trying to keep your kids alive until bedtime.”

• Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) humorously described the bedtime routine: “Bedtime is like a hostage negotiation where the terrorists are small, drunk, and don’t speak English.”
• The Dad (@thedad) tweeted about the joys of parenting: “Parenting is 50% pretending you know what you’re doing and 50% praying your kid doesn’t notice.”
• Meredith (@PerfectPending) reflected on the challenges of parenting: “Parenting is 90% wondering how much damage you’re doing and 10% hoping they remember you tried.”
• Simon Holland (@simoncholland) shared his experience with kids’ questions: “Kids ask a lot of questions. But nothing makes you realize how little you know like a kid asking why the sky is blue.”
• Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) had a dad joke related to parenting: “Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!”
• The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) tweeted about kids’ eating habits: “My kids’ eating habits are like a game of musical chairs. One day they love something, the next day it’s like they’ve never seen it before.”
• Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) shared her child’s perspective on time: “My 5-year-old just asked me if I was alive in the ‘olden days’ when I was a kid. I’m not sure whether to be flattered or offended.”
• Dad Bits (@DadBits) joked about parenting advice: “Parenting tip: If your kid is being quiet, they’re either up to no good or they’re asleep. Either way, don’t disturb them.”
• The Honest Toddler (@HonestToddler) had a funny take on bedtime stories: “My favorite part of bedtime stories is when my parents skip to the end because they’re tired. It’s like a surprise ending every night!”

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