The thing about confidence in children is that it rarely looks like what we expect. It’s not loud, flashy or always obvious; often it’s hidden in tiny moments of courage, curiosity or trying again after failing. Kids don’t build confidence overnight. They grow it slowly through encouragement, independence and the feeling that the adults around them believe in who they are. When we understand the real thing about confidence in children, we learn how to help it thrive.
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I’m not a psychologist or anything, but I have to tell you, there’s something to be said for confidence at any age, but especially in childhood. I don’t know how much you remember about your childhood, but from what I recall, and from what I’ve observed in my kids, confidence is the thing that separates the mice from the men.
Do you remember the confident children in school? I revered them, and there was a good reason for this, because confidence implies experience in something. For a kid, experience is the most valuable skill currently there is.
So why am I going on about confidence?
This is because in the last two weeks, I saw it happen before my very eyes with my five-year-old, and I really hadn’t expected that. In my previous post, I shared a particular fear I had about how bedwetting may be affecting her. Not physically, but emotionally and particularly when it came to her self-image. We forget that children also hate waking up in a puddle of their own urine, and that’s why they try to hide it.
“To my great surprise and relief, these pants seem to have given her confidence.”
About two weeks ago, I agreed to try out and review the DryNites Pyjama Pants. They’re pull-on elastic pants with a “nappy-like” inner, but with the absolutely genius addition of a “Frozen” theme image (Spider-Man for the boys) on the front. At first, I was genuinely worried that introducing these into the scenario was going to cause her to be dependent on them, the way children who just start potty training might be on nappies.
But no, to my great surprise and relief, these pants seem to have given her confidence. She wears them with pride, and for the past four nights has proudly announced in the mornings that “It is dry again!”
And so, I reckon I’ll be able to phase them out and just keep a few in the cupboard as a kind of back-up in case of a relapse.
I should mention (once again) that I’m no expert and I know that every kid is different, but I’m honestly blown away by how this experiment turned out. I can highly recommend that parents of kiddies who are still occasionally bedwetting just give it a try for two weeks, because I often think that, as adults, we forget that these “small victories” are actually huge achievements for our children.
This article has been shared by Cathrine Versfeld on her blog.
ALSO READ: From ‘I Can’t’ to ‘I Can’: 17 ways to raise confidence and self-esteem in kids
BabyYumYum FAQs: The Thing About Confidence in Children and How to Nurture It
What does confidence look like in children?
Confident children tend to try new things, bounce back from setbacks, make decisions and express themselves clearly. Confidence doesn’t mean being loud or outgoing, it’s about feeling capable and secure.
Why is confidence so important for kids?
Confidence helps children handle challenges, build friendships, solve problems, and cope with mistakes. It shapes their emotional resilience, academic success and overall wellbeing.
Is confidence something children are born with?
Not entirely. Some children are naturally more outgoing, but confidence is mostly developed through experiences, encouragement and supportive relationships.
How can I help my child build real, healthy confidence?
Praise effort rather than perfection, give them responsibilities, and allow them to try things on their own. Confidence grows when children see themselves succeed, even in small tasks.
Should I shield my child from failure?
No. Protecting children from every difficulty can actually weaken confidence. Let them experience small failures safely, then guide them through problem-solving and reflection.
How does positive praise help?
Specific praise like “I noticed how patient you were” helps children recognise their strengths. Avoid overpraising, which can make confidence dependent on external validation.
Does routine affect confidence?
Yes. Predictable routines give children a sense of stability and control, which boosts confidence. When kids know what to expect, they feel safer trying new things.
What role do friendships play in building confidence?
Healthy friendships teach kids social skills, empathy, and communication, all of which strengthen confidence. Support your child in building friendships but avoid solving every social issue for them.
Can chores and responsibilities help confidence?
Absolutely. Small tasks making the bed, packing lunch or feeding a pet help children feel capable and trusted. When they contribute meaningfully, their self-esteem grows.
How can I help my child when they feel unsure or anxious?
Acknowledge their feelings, reassure them and break tasks into manageable steps. Encourage them to give it a try, even if they feel nervous. Bravery grows with practice.
Should confident behaviour be modelled by parents?
Yes. Children copy what they see. When you show self-compassion, try new things, or handle mistakes calmly, you teach your child to do the same.
What if my child’s confidence seems unusually low?
If your child avoids activities they previously enjoyed, shows ongoing anxiety, or struggles socially or academically, consider speaking to a teacher, psychologist or paediatrician for guidance.
Disclaimer: This information is for general parenting support and does not replace advice from a qualified medical or mental health professional. If you are concerned about your child’s emotional wellbeing or confidence, please seek professional guidance.
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