Helping your child cope with school can be a daunting task for any parent. The academic pressure, social dynamics, and daily routines can sometimes overwhelm young minds, leading to stress and anxiety. As a parent, it’s crucial to understand the challenges your child faces and to provide them with the necessary support and guidance to navigate their school life successfully.
Finding a solution to a child’s learning difficulties means empowering them to help themselves. This means developing their social, emotional and intellectual skillsets.
It started with a meeting with your child’s teacher, telling you your child is not coping at school and suggesting a remedial environment. Or perhaps your child’s original enthusiasm for learning is now replaced by complaints of an upset tummy and other similar obstacles to get out of going to school.
Or maybe the last report card showed a considerable drop in grades. Perhaps you thought you’d “wait and see” if school became easier with time, but there are even more challenges with the next grade: school has become an anxiety-provoking place and learning is no longer an experience to embrace.
“Development and deficits in development are not set in stone. There are steps that can be taken to change the course your child is on.”
Whatever the beginning may be, the most important step is to address the issue of falling behind the rest of the class and find a solution to help your child go forward.
“The sooner a child is helped and given the necessary skillset, the easier it is for both the child and parents,” says Jenna White, Supervisor of Catch Up Kids. The supportive programme specialises in identifying skill set deficits and designing tailored lesson programs to address each child’s particular challenges. “Addressing learning problems can help turn around the vicious cycle of not doing well, which in turn creates a feeling of ‘less than’ the rest of the class, which impacts both emotionally and behaviourally.
“The more the right skills are targeted, the more closely the performance matches the child’s ability. It is important to make a distinction between academic performance and ability which don’t always match up, especially for anxious kids,” says the skillset specialist.
One of the key skill sets that often needs to be addressed in children with a learning difficulty is that of executive functioning skills.
This is the CEO of the brain and continues to develop into a person’s early twenties. Examples of executive functioning skills include planning and organising, time management, sustained attention, inhibition, working memory, etc.
“Executive functioning skills support the academic output. Once we start working on this, the children become more successful and catch up.
It’s not that they can’t do it. It’s that their executive functioning skills are letting them down,” explains White. “For example, if you miss the teacher’s instruction, it doesn’t mean you can’t answer the question; it means you didn’t sustain your attention long enough to catch the question, resulting in the incorrect answer. We often teach children to self-manage so that they can be aware of times when they lose attention, so that they can snap back into focus,” she says.
Although executive functioning is usually one of the big causes of the child not keeping up in the classroom, there are in fact eight developmental domains. A child acquires hundreds of skills every year in these areas which include language, social, adaptive, executive functioning, motor, play, cognition and academic skills.
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These areas all affect each other. If the child has a language delay it could also affect academic output. For example, if the child doesn’t understand the concepts of ‘fewer’ or ‘more than’ or ‘smallest’ or ‘first’ and ‘last,’ it will affect maths output, which falls under academic competency. “Development and deficits in development are not set in stone,” emphasis White. “There are steps that can be taken to change the course your child is on.“
Guidance, focused support and positive reinforcement can establish a solid foundation of self-confidence. In this way, the difficulty can be used as leverage to learn how to cope and rise up to challenges, making a child with learning challenges more determined, stronger and more resilient – important skills in leading a productive life, no matter where or how you might start,” concludes the learning expert.
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FAQs: Helping Your Child Cope with School
How can I help my child manage school stress? Encourage open communication by regularly talking to your child about their day. Teach them stress management techniques like deep breathing and ensure they have a balanced schedule with time for relaxation and hobbies.
What are some signs that my child is struggling at school? Signs may include a sudden drop in grades, reluctance to go to school, frequent headaches or stomach aches, changes in behaviour or mood, and social withdrawal.
How can I support my child with homework? Create a quiet, well-lit space for homework. Establish a consistent routine and be available to help without doing the work for them. Encourage breaks during longer study sessions.
What should I do if my child is being bullied at school? Listen to your child’s concerns, reassure them, and contact the school to discuss the issue. Teach your child strategies to stand up to bullying and ensure they have a support system in place.
How can I help my child develop good study habits? Encourage regular study times, help them break tasks into manageable chunks, and teach effective study techniques like summarising information, using flashcards, and practising past papers.
What can I do if my child has difficulty making friends? Encourage participation in extracurricular activities where they can meet peers with similar interests. Role-play social scenarios to build confidence and discuss ways to be a good friend.
How do I handle my child’s anxiety about tests and exams? Help them prepare well in advance, teach relaxation techniques, and reassure them that their best effort is what counts. Ensure they get enough sleep and maintain a healthy diet.
How can I communicate effectively with my child’s teachers? Schedule regular meetings, attend parent-teacher conferences, and stay informed about your child’s progress. Maintain a positive and collaborative approach, focusing on finding solutions together.
What should I do if my child doesn’t like school? Explore the reasons behind their feelings by talking to them and their teachers. Address any specific issues, such as bullying or learning difficulties, and find ways to make learning more engaging and enjoyable.
How can I help my child develop a positive attitude towards school? Celebrate their achievements, however small, and show interest in their school activities. Encourage a love of learning by exploring subjects they are passionate about and fostering curiosity.
What steps can I take if my child has a learning disability? Seek a formal assessment and work with the school to create an Individual Education Plan (IEP). Provide support at home with tailored resources and consider additional help, such as tutoring or therapy.
How do I encourage my child to be more organised with their schoolwork? Teach them to use planners or digital tools to keep track of assignments and deadlines. Establish a routine for packing their school bag the night before and setting out clothes for the next day.
What can I do to support my child’s mental health during the school year? Encourage a healthy lifestyle with regular exercise, a balanced diet, and sufficient sleep. Promote open communication, provide a supportive home environment, and seek professional help if needed.
How can I help my child cope with changing schools? Visit the new school together before they start, meet their new teachers, and encourage them to join clubs or activities to make new friends. Discuss their feelings and reassure them during the transition period.
What role does a healthy lifestyle play in my child’s school success? A healthy lifestyle, including proper nutrition, regular physical activity, and adequate sleep, supports concentration, energy levels, and overall well-being, which are crucial for academic success.
As a citizen of democratic South Africa, I believe it’s my parental duty to raise civic-minded children, writes Laurel Pretorius.
