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The Emotional Weight Carried by the Default Parent

Being the default parent often means carrying a mental checklist that never ends like snack bags, doctor’s appointments, emotional meltdowns, school projects and birthday party RSVPs. It's the role that quietly absorbs the bulk of invisible labour, yet rarely gets recognition. If you're the one who remembers everything, organises everything and worries about everything, you're not imagining the exhaustion. This emotional load can weigh heavily, especially when it goes unnoticed or unshared. Let’s unpack the emotional impact of being the default parent, and how to reclaim space, sanity and shared responsibility without guilt.

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