Keeping your marriage alive amidst life’s demands

Enmeshment is the death of desire and connection in a relationship. When we expect our partner to see how tired and burdened, we feel, and to understand what we need and when we need it, this inevitably leads to frustration and disconnection. Especially when our partner is also struggling with life demands such as parenting, work and other of life’s responsibilities. This then usually leads to resentment, disconnection and feelings of loneliness.

Top tips for a successful relationship:

It is important to remember that our partner is separate from us, with their own mind and experiences and cannot read our mind. They will very likely think differently and act differently from how we do. Open and honest communication is the foundation of any successful relationship:

• Make time to engage in meaningful conversations with your partner where both of you can express your thoughts, feelings, and desires. Active listening and empathy play a crucial role in understanding each other’s perspectives. Regularly check in with each other, discussing not only daily logistics but also emotional needs. This practice fosters a deep connection and promotes a sense of togetherness amidst the chaos of daily life.
• It’s important to encourage and support each other’s personal interests and goals. Allow space for personal growth and self-discovery. Pursuing individual passions not only brings fulfilment but also adds vibrancy to the relationship. By celebrating each other’s achievements and providing emotional support, you foster a deep sense of appreciation and respect, contributing to the overall happiness and well-being of the partnership. Maintaining a healthy balance between togetherness and individuality is crucial.
• Finding quality time for each other is essential to keep the flame burning. If you have a few hours to sit watching TV then you have time for a date night! Despite busy schedules, allocate dedicated time for shared activities and experiences. Lighting a few candles and giving each other a massage while watching TV can make all the difference. Cook a meal together, go for a walk, take a morning off work occasionally and go out for breakfast without the kids. By intentionally carving out time for your relationship, you demonstrate its importance and strengthen the relationship.

Check out: The trick to peaceful co-parenting after divorce

Intimacy & affection

Physical intimacy and affection are vital components of a thriving relationship. Despite the exhaustion that comes with parental and professional responsibilities, make it a priority to nurture intimacy:

• Physical touch, hugs, kisses, and cuddling are powerful ways to express love and maintain a strong connection.
• Explore and communicate your desires to keep the sexual aspect alive.
• Prioritise intimacy, as it enhances emotional closeness and fosters a sense of security and satisfaction.

Visit: How having kids changes your relationship with your partner

Perils of burnout

Notice when you or your partner are starting to become burnt out. The symptoms of burnout effect the body, mind and spirit. It is not possible to give energy to your relationship if you’re not giving anything to yourself.

So, when one of you starts feeling like they are losing themselves in the chaos of life’s demands, it is time to consider professional help. Seeing a psychologist, therapist, counsellor or coach can be the first step in prioritising yourself.

It’s essential to carve out time to doing the things you love, or resting when your body tells you to. If you do not, inevitably your relationship with also suffer.

Balancing the demands of parenting, work, and other responsibilities while keeping the fire alive in your relationship is undoubtedly a challenge. However, by prioritising communication, quality time, intimacy, individuality, and collaboration, you can create a strong foundation for a passionate and fulfilling partnership that stands the test of time.

Also read: Happy marriage, happy kids
Visit : The myth of balance

Tell us your tips in keeping your marriage alive in comments.